Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Online | Search for a member
About Hiimhaileypotter : Hi, I'm Hailey! I'm 19, I'm applying to be a veterinarian's assistant, and I have my own pet sitting business. I have 2 semesters of college (19 credits) left until I'm finished! :D I'm a country girl and I appreciate the little things. My favorite things include Harry Potter (though I would hope you'd already guessed that by now ;), The Lord of the Rings, exercise, rats, chickens, horses, The Walking Dead, Dexter, Game of Thrones, and snow days. If I'm not missing college, I can't stand snow. My favorite season is spring. Everything starts over new. :) I want to adopt a greyhound in the near future. If you'd like to chat feel free to message me - I don't bite. ;)
I dream of the day that the comment section will be filled with proper grammar instead of "should of" and "could ofs."
You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.
You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.
One ring to rule them all
You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after 4 perfectly happy years together. The reason? He had a dream in which his dead former girlfriend from when he was 13 told him she still loved him. He now believes his dead childhood sweetheart is trying to contact him and I'm "in the way of their love." FML
Today, while arguing with my newly ex-girlfriend over how she cheated on me with a mutual friend, she tried to wash her hands of any guilt, saying that I was "selfish" and "just slut-shaming, really". FML
Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML
Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML
Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML
Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML
Friday 21 November 2014