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About Hiimhaileypotter : Hi, I'm Hailey :) Currently recovering from ACL reconstruction surgery that I had on 5/28/15. :( So if you message me and I don't get back to you right away, that's why!
I love reading, summer, fireworks, autumn, bonfires, gardening, mowing grass, hiking, and swimming. Some of my favorite things are Elder Scrolls games, LOTR, Game of Thrones (books & show), and Harry Potter. I love writing and I'm currently trying to work on 5 different books at once, lol.
I'm also a country girl. I've got 17 chickens, 1 dog, and one horse that I bought in January. He's my best friend. His name is a reference to a popular Lord of the Rings character. He is an 11-year-old Quarter Horse trail gelding that knows how to lay down on command.
I have a lot of submitted FMLs because a lot of funny/embarrassing things happen to me, and I also have let some friends attempt to post stories on my account as well.
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML
Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML
Today, I found out that my brother is adamant that if he records silence, then listens to said silence at full volume, it'll improve the headphones' noise-blocking abilities. I live with a complete idiot. FML
Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
Today, I jokingly told my friend that I was the kid who stole his brand new glow-in-the-dark markers back in kindergarten. Now he's ignoring my texts and calls and says we're through. So much for our twelve years of friendship. FML
Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML
Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones got so bad that she freaked out and threw a tantrum, accusing me of always making important decisions for her. All I did was get her some food from Taco Bell as a surprise. FML
Today, I got kicked out of English class shortly after our teacher told us we have to write an essay on how the storyline of Harry Potter is one big allegory for "the futility of socialism." Apparently, reacting with disbelief makes me a "disruptive influence." FML
Friday 3 July 2015