About Hiimhaileypotter : I have lots of pets including things that most people don't consider pets, such as chickens and rats. I'm a country girl from the USA but I'm a major nerd and love stuff such as the Elder Scrolls games (been playing since I was 8), Harry Potter (began reading the books by myself when I was in 2nd grade), Iron Man, Thor & the other Avengers, and Lord of the Rings. Wanna talk? Just message me.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I found out that a family member found a publisher for his book; his badly written, terribly sourced, historically inaccurate book that insults and misrepresents most world cultures and religions. If this actually makes it to print, I'll never be able to use my maiden name again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14725) - you deserved it (1257)
On 05/14/2012 at 3:37am - misc - by AmatureLitCritic - United States (Oregon)
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10991) - you deserved it (37154) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I was worried about my brother because he said that his new medication was making him hallucinate. I told him he should see a doctor right away. He said it was fine and that he had already seen a doctor. I later found out the doctor he was talking about was a hallucination. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17496) - you deserved it (1467)
On 04/27/2012 at 4:22am - health - by PickedOff (woman) - United States
Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15785) - you deserved it (2819)
On 04/10/2012 at 6:48am - animals - by Baustigt - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15388) - you deserved it (8546)
On 04/05/2012 at 7:29am - misc - by Nadaz (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22432) - you deserved it (2161)
On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6273) - you deserved it (15637)
On 03/05/2012 at 5:55pm - misc - by mark (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32957) - you deserved it (19748)
On 03/04/2012 at 12:02am - love - by Autocorrected (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)
Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29703) - you deserved it (4053)
On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16270) - you deserved it (3606)
Today, I sent out a text saying "Smile! You're beautiful and don't let anyone tell you otherwise." to most of my contacts. I got one reply, from my best friend, saying, "Are you fucking stupid?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9819) - you deserved it (23455)
On 02/13/2012 at 11:27am - misc - by dis_bee_leaf (woman) - Canada
Today, I read some funny scribblings on a wall in the bathroom stall. My first instinct was to "Like" it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7297) - you deserved it (19085)
On 02/04/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by WayTooMuchFacebook (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33572) - you deserved it (6845)
On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23830) - you deserved it (1794)
On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7365) - you deserved it (21043)
On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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