Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Hiimhaileypotter

Online | Search for a member

Hiimhaileypotter

7Liked!

HiimhaileypotterHiimhaileypotter
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 July 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8950
  • Number of comments : 1569
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 82 posted

About Hiimhaileypotter : hello, i'm Hailey. i have 12 chickens, 1 rat (RIP Sunny), a dog, 4 cats, and I lease a horse, Penny. whenever i don't know something I'm always looking it up so i tend to know quite a bit of trivia about certain animals (mainly dogs, cats, rats, horses, & chickens). so if you have questions about them, feel free to ask. I'm supposedly allergic to dogs and cats but I've never had any sort of reaction so I don't believe it. :p i'm currently in the process of writing 3 books. I had 7 wisdom teeth, does that make me extra wise? I love Bruce Lee. I love lord of the rings, game of thrones, and open world video games. i absolutely love Dexter and The Walking Dead. a book is almost always better than the movie, sorry. I love salads, water, and blueberry pancakes. i'm a sophomore in college and am very busy but will always respond to messages...i love meeting new people. :)

Hiimhaileypotter's page activity

Visits<b>Metal_Chick</b> - one hour ago<b>BritSkits</b> - 14 hours ago<b>WillyWonkaaaa</b> - yesterday at 11:42am<b>mkayman</b> - yesterday at 7:20am<b>Loomunati</b> - yesterday at 11:04pm<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - yesterday at 9:47pm<b>seeoseek</b> - yesterday at 7:42pm<b>NeverComments</b> - yesterday at 6:29pm<b>GingerRage</b> - yesterday at 3:26pm<b>wildirishrose</b> - yesterday at 2:12pm<b>JS47</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 12:28pm<b>tony1891</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 12:04pm<b>mip_92</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 11:10am<b>grtfuldeadlovr</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 10:26am<b>ARKHAM88</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 8:27am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 7:19am<b>macalo_03</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 10:41pm<b>botanistjessica</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 10:35pm

Liked!<b>botanistjessica</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 4:35am<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 12:07pm<b>dylanger16</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 4:43am<b>Toolishing</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 3:55am<b>slimblack</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:56pm<b>jdhebert</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 4:43pm

Hiimhaileypotter's FML badges

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Hiimhaileypotter's badges

Hiimhaileypotter's favorite FMLs

Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML

#20986172
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51292) - you deserved it (3371)

On 12/09/2013 at 10:10am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She asked if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw my dumbfounded face, then played it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd posted on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML

#20975896
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54697) - you deserved it (4946)

On 11/30/2013 at 3:29pm - love - by fuckface? I wish (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59531) - you deserved it (4303)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML

#20960837
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57921) - you deserved it (2688)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:46pm - misc - by failed brood mare (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41366) - you deserved it (3763)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86435) - you deserved it (6186)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46710) - you deserved it (5056)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I created a poster trying to raise self-harm awareness in teens for my school. They sent me to the counselor, suspended me, and recommended I go to therapy. FML

Today, I found out that my brother is adamant that if he records silence, then listens to said silence at full volume, it'll improve the headphones' noise-blocking abilities. I live with a complete idiot. FML

#20921378
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37600) - you deserved it (2912)

On 10/15/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Eggs6131 (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

#20918730
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21607) - you deserved it (81438)

On 10/13/2013 at 10:38am - love - by not getting laid - United States (Texas)

Today, I jokingly told my friend that I was the kid who stole his brand new glow-in-the-dark markers back in kindergarten. Now he's ignoring my texts and calls and says we're through. So much for our twelve years of friendship. FML

#20918380
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39427) - you deserved it (9661)

On 10/13/2013 at 12:33am - misc - by markerThief (man) - United States (California)

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML

#20916188
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42241) - you deserved it (2338)

On 10/11/2013 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, the creepy regular customer found out I was lying about having a boyfriend in order to keep him away. He now thinks this is me playing hard to get. FML

#20916055
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41060) - you deserved it (4623)

On 10/11/2013 at 2:09am - work - by Itsnotmeitsyou (woman) - Australia



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: