Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Online | Search for a member
About Hiimhaileypotter : Hi, I'm Hailey. i'm 19, I'm going into the veterinary field, and I have my own pet sitting business. I have 2 semesters of college left until I'm finished. I'm a country girl and I appreciate the little things. My favorite things include Harry Potter (though I would hope you'd already guessed that by now ;), The Lord of the Rings, exercise, rats, chickens, horses, The Walking Dead, Dexter, Game of Thrones, and snow. Christmas is my favorite holiday. I have scoliosis. I have depression, and anxiety issues. My favorite season is spring. :) I want to adopt a greyhound. I love cats. I dream of the day that the comment section will be filled with proper grammar instead of "should of" and "could ofs." I'm highly sarcastic and I never mean to be offensive.
You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.
You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.
One ring to rule them all
You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.
Today, my girlfriend told me that we should take a break from our relationship, because it'd be best for the both of us. Later, I found out that she really meant it'd be best for her and her new boyfriend. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend of 3 years in his living room when a girl barges in, sees us, and screams "I knew it!" then rushes out. My boyfriend gets up, grabs his pants and while chasing after her yells "baby she's nothing, you know I only love you!" FML
Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML
Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML
Today, feeling down and dejected because of the shitty weather and none of my friends or family wanting to spend time with me to feel loved I took my favorite stuffed animal and that says 'I love you' when you squeeze it. I squeezed it. Nothing happened. Even an inanimate object rejected me. FML
Today, my girlfriend was really depressed. I listed the top 50 reasons why I love her. Her response was "thanks for that but seriously, this video on youtube is hilarious." I couldn't cheer her up but apparently a 10 second video of a dog running in circles can. FML
Friday 19 December 2014