Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Hiimhaileypotter

Online | Search for a member

Hiimhaileypotter

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : ,
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 July 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7757
  • Number of comments : 1462
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 74 posted

About Hiimhaileypotter : spay & neuter your pets. animal lover. anti-PETA. I do not support egg factories, I raise my own chickens for eggs (& keep them as pets after they stop laying). I am trying to adopt some ex-factory laying hens to give them at least part of a good life. I have 12 chickens, 1 rat (RIP Sunny), a dog, 4 cats, and I care for a horse that isn't mine but I love her. currently in the process of writing 2 books. I had 7 wisdom teeth, does that make me extra wise? I love lord of the rings, game of thrones, and open world video games. i'm a sophomore in college and am very busy but will always respond to messages. (: looking at becoming a vet tech! message me if you want to talk!

Hiimhaileypotter's page activity

Visits<b>ellollama</b> - 45 minutes ago<b>_u7m</b> - one hour ago<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - 2 hours ago<b>whitneynwest</b> - 2 hours ago<b>GentlemanBastard</b> - 2 hours ago<b>BritSkits</b> - 5 hours ago<b>melons</b> - 7 hours ago<b>BunchieRules</b> - 9 hours ago<b>jdhebert</b> - 10 hours ago<b>fantasyworld</b> - 10 hours ago<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - 11 hours ago<b>edvin</b> - 12 hours ago<b>eleven22</b> - 12 hours ago<b>mattsally559</b> - 13 hours ago<b>k1029</b> - 14 hours ago<b>thatsawkward7</b> - 15 hours ago<b>moksha</b> - 15 hours ago<b>DarkJediLove</b> - 23 hours ago

Hiimhaileypotter's FML badges

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Hiimhaileypotter's badges

Hiimhaileypotter's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife and I were watching a football game. While someone was about to score, she started screaming, "Go!" and "Come on! You can do it! Go baby, go!" My first thought was that I wished I could still make her scream like that. FML

#21026614
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52025) - you deserved it (11046)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I wrote a text to the guy I've had a crush on for two years. I typed "hey" and put my phone down, not ready to send it. A little while later, I heard it buzz. The reply said "Um... what?" Apparently my sister had added "I'm a shitty prostitute" to my text and sent it. FML

#21016150
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44934) - you deserved it (7955)

On 01/04/2014 at 12:25am - love - by ... - United States

Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML

#20996904
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36740) - you deserved it (6768)

On 12/18/2013 at 12:01pm - love - by whereismyprince? - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML

#20988723
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38227) - you deserved it (2442)

On 12/11/2013 at 6:58am - misc - by a.white - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

#20987856
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50056) - you deserved it (9734)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53608) - you deserved it (3376)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML

#20986172
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51225) - you deserved it (3367)

On 12/09/2013 at 10:10am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She asked if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw my dumbfounded face, then played it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd posted on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML

#20975896
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54617) - you deserved it (4942)

On 11/30/2013 at 3:29pm - love - by fuckface? I wish (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59456) - you deserved it (4297)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML

#20960837
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57827) - you deserved it (2684)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:46pm - misc - by failed brood mare (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41314) - you deserved it (3758)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86129) - you deserved it (6174)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46660) - you deserved it (5053)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: