Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Hiimhaileypotter

Search for a member

Hiimhaileypotter
  • Town/Country : The Shire, Middle-Earth
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5133
  • Number of comments : 1267
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 70 posted

About Hiimhaileypotter : I like meeting new people so feel free to message me. If I am mean to you in a comment I either don't mean to be or I'm just being sarcastic... I've got pet rats and can answer questions you may have about them, feel free to ask! I've got a horse named Penny; she's my life! :) Talk to me :D ebonyirony is my favorite fml user.

Hiimhaileypotter's last visitors

lilpsycogrogers311FedergirlNeverCommentsRaelthelambmaxyutdswarm20k_gilsMoochi456MrConcisedaveyyyyh

Hiimhaileypotter's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Tweet, tweet

You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

See all of Hiimhaileypotter's badges

Hiimhaileypotter's favorite FMLs

Today, I was really horny after some dirty texts from my boyfriend. Since everyone seemed to be sleeping, I closed my eyes and started to touch myself. I was really close to climaxing when I opened my eyes and made eye contact with my mother staring at me as I was masturbating. FML

#7020543
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22628) - you deserved it (8999)

On 12/29/2009 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Rawr (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML

#6933705
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18250) - you deserved it (2989)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was on Facebook chat with my boss, talking about holiday hours. I had to go to my doctor's appointment, so I said, "G2G, love you" accidentally. Not only did he say it back, but he also requested a relationship with me on Facebook. FML

#6883873
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24214) - you deserved it (9026)

On 12/22/2009 at 1:05pm - work - by ohshat (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I had given up on finding my makeup bag with cell phone and iPod my mom had bought for me recently. So I went to art to join the group of girls with whom I share the back art studio of my school. One of them was talking about how she'd ripped off some bitch's stuff, and she held up my bag. FML

#6867947
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32247) - you deserved it (2407)

On 12/21/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML

#6778697
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37213) - you deserved it (2919)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was watching the show "Sixteen and Pregnant". I started bawling when the girl's dirtbag boyfriend proposed to her with a $20 ring he bought from Walmart because I was so lonely and was jealous of her "romantic relationship". FML

#6770582
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23392) - you deserved it (10487)

On 12/15/2009 at 10:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24707) - you deserved it (6439)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, we had company over, and after dinner, I saw a package of gumballs sitting on the table. Figuring my brother had brought them, I took one and bit it. I got a bunch of weird looks. Turns out wasn't a gumball - it was a mini paintball. FML

#6768008
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5808) - you deserved it (17980)

On 12/15/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by BlueMouth (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

#6761205
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13866) - you deserved it (20941)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

#6692026
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25415) - you deserved it (11333)

On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I posted a note on Facebook about a weird dream I had about my ex-boyfriend, where I made out with him, then it transitioned into a vampires vs. werewolves battle. My ex private messages me and says there's a better chance of a vampires vs. werewolves battle than us ever making out again. FML

#6584536
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8177) - you deserved it (38964)

On 12/03/2009 at 2:34pm - love - by ohiochibi (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I spoke with my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend. Actually, she isn't all that crazy. He really did cheat on her with half a dozen other girls. The same girls he's apparently cheating on me with. How do I know for sure? Thank you crazy ex for his email passwords. FML

#6521538
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39317) - you deserved it (4354)

On 11/29/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "so does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML

#6387420
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35375) - you deserved it (2186)

On 11/21/2009 at 12:59am - love - by Fail (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, as I left class I felt a tug on my rucksack from behind. Thinking it was just someone deliberately dragging me back, I struggled to let myself free and shouted "Let go!". I looked over my shoulder just to find that one the straps was trapped in the doorhandle. Everyone was in hysterics. FML

#6369387
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8517) - you deserved it (21877)

On 11/19/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by betamaxjim (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, a neighbour called to say my water tank burst. A colleague followed me home to help, took off his shirt so it wouldn't get wet and climbed through my window to get to the roof. My boyfriend unexpectedly came home as we were emerging from the bedroom. My colleague was still buttoning his shirt up. FML

#6309981
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41105) - you deserved it (5258)

On 11/15/2009 at 3:42am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: