Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Online | Search for a member
About Hiimhaileypotter : hello, i'm Hailey. i have 12 chickens, 1 rat (RIP Sunny), a dog, 4 cats, and I lease a horse, Penny. whenever i don't know something I'm always looking it up so i tend to know quite a bit of trivia about certain animals (mainly dogs, cats, rats, horses, & chickens). so if you have questions about them, feel free to ask. I'm supposedly allergic to dogs and cats but I've never had any sort of reaction so I don't believe it. :p i'm currently in the process of writing 3 books. I had 7 wisdom teeth, does that make me extra wise? I love Bruce Lee. I love lord of the rings, game of thrones, and open world video games. i absolutely love Dexter and The Walking Dead. a book is almost always better than the movie, sorry. I love salads, water, and blueberry pancakes. i'm a sophomore in college and am very busy but will always respond to messages...i love meeting new people. :)
You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.
One ring to rule them all
You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he's been having doubts, but he still wants to stay with me. I asked him why he had been so nervous about us and he replied, "I don't know, just thinking about a future with you makes me feel nauseous". We've been together over 2 years now. FML
Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML
Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML
Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML
Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML
Friday 24 October 2014