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Hiimhaileypotter

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Hiimhaileypotter
  • Town/Country : The Shire, Middle-Earth
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5208
  • Number of comments : 1277
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 70 posted

About Hiimhaileypotter : I like meeting new people so feel free to message me. If I am mean to you in a comment I either don't mean to be or I'm just being sarcastic... I've got pet rats and can answer questions you may have about them, feel free to ask! I've got a horse named Penny; she's my life! :) Talk to me :D ebonyirony is my favorite fml user.

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Hiimhaileypotter's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at work as a cashier. An old lady unbagged everything I had, and angrily "taught" me how to bag. She put potatoes on her eggs and broke them. She then screamed that I was useless and retarded in front of all my other customers and manager. FML

#17925630
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30636) - you deserved it (1816)

On 10/07/2011 at 1:55am - work - by bdjsbskl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Devastated, he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine was too much for me to handle, so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML

#17901380
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11352) - you deserved it (37034)

On 10/04/2011 at 1:22am - love - by backtosquareone - Asia/Pacific Region

Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML

#17894609
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24718) - you deserved it (4981)

On 10/03/2011 at 8:37am - misc - by Mike Polk - United States

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53226) - you deserved it (5255)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24038) - you deserved it (6478)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
572 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17245) - you deserved it (218751)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML

#17706108
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32277) - you deserved it (5788) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/09/2011 at 7:18pm - love - by Angie - France

Today, I was at the book store when a book caught my eye: Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies. I wanted to look through the book but I was too nervous to pick it up, thinking everyone in the store would look at me. FML

#17698757
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27792) - you deserved it (5197)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:01pm - health - by Mack - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my GPS told me that I'd reached my destination. In the middle of the highway. FML

#17669656
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23312) - you deserved it (4626)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29473) - you deserved it (2849)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

#17627685
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14475) - you deserved it (50691)

On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I walked in on my new college roommate holding his cock. He said "Hi I'm Jeffrey, and this is Jeffrey junior" while directing attention towards his penis. It's going to be a long semester. FML

#17574583
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31423) - you deserved it (2329)

On 08/25/2011 at 1:26am - intimacy - by InAnAwkwardSituation - United States (New York)

Today, my beloved pet chicken ran away from home. I got so distraught that my dad offered to buy me dinner. Specifically, KFC. FML

#17538600
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22883) - you deserved it (4190)

On 08/21/2011 at 2:23pm - animals - by xXangelaXx - United States

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28114) - you deserved it (4425)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26633) - you deserved it (3228)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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