Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Hiimhaileypotter

Online | Search for a member

Hiimhaileypotter

8Liked!

HiimhaileypotterHiimhaileypotter
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 July 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9001
  • Number of comments : 1574
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 82 posted

About Hiimhaileypotter : hello, i'm Hailey. i have 12 chickens, 1 rat (RIP Sunny), a dog, 4 cats, and I lease a horse, Penny. whenever i don't know something I'm always looking it up so i tend to know quite a bit of trivia about certain animals (mainly dogs, cats, rats, horses, & chickens). so if you have questions about them, feel free to ask. I'm supposedly allergic to dogs and cats but I've never had any sort of reaction so I don't believe it. :p i'm currently in the process of writing 3 books. I had 7 wisdom teeth, does that make me extra wise? I love Bruce Lee. I love lord of the rings, game of thrones, and open world video games. i absolutely love Dexter and The Walking Dead. a book is almost always better than the movie, sorry. I love salads, water, and blueberry pancakes. i'm a sophomore in college and am very busy but will always respond to messages...i love meeting new people. :)

Hiimhaileypotter's page activity

Visits<b>badnelly123</b> - 20 minutes ago<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - 43 minutes ago<b>seeoseek</b> - 3 hours ago<b>rocker_chick23</b> - 4 hours ago<b>BunchieRules</b> - 9 hours ago<b>Corey122726</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Volcan</b> - 10 hours ago<b>macncheeze97</b> - 11 hours ago<b>rs96</b> - 12 hours ago<b>sweetbliss3</b> - 13 hours ago<b>buckdharma</b> - 14 hours ago<b>Nooblah</b> - 22 hours ago<b>Bigmommo</b> - yesterday at 6:40pm<b>Metal_Chick</b> - yesterday at 12:05pm<b>BritSkits</b> - yesterday at 11:00pm<b>WillyWonkaaaa</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:42am<b>mkayman</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 7:20am<b>Loomunati</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 11:04pm

Liked!<b>Corey122726</b> - 4 hours ago<b>botanistjessica</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 4:35am<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 12:07pm<b>dylanger16</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 4:43am<b>Toolishing</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 3:55am<b>slimblack</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:56pm<b>jdhebert</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 4:43pm

Hiimhaileypotter's FML badges

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Hiimhaileypotter's badges

Hiimhaileypotter's favorite FMLs

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

#21219507
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39178) - you deserved it (16271)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I left the house I'm staying at, not knowing that thunderstorms were forecast. I came back from work to find dog shit splattered all over the kitchen. Apparently the dogs I'm watching don't like thunder. FML

#21209155
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37029) - you deserved it (4760)

On 07/14/2014 at 6:48pm - animals - by Hiimhaileypotter (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52390) - you deserved it (4607)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59055) - you deserved it (4562)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom insisted on making my lunch. She didn't know that knives are banned at my high school, and packed me a steak knife for cream cheese. I'm now suspended for 7 days, and she refuses to say that she did anything wrong. FML

#21152537
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50303) - you deserved it (4798)

On 05/26/2014 at 6:34pm - misc - by megangubler - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that when a girl asks what your plans are for Valentine's Day and you say "nothing" and she responds with, "Oh, I don't have any plans either", it means she wants you to take her out. Took me three months to figure that out. FML

#21145130
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34001) - you deserved it (53187)

On 05/19/2014 at 1:15pm - love - by clueless - United States (California)

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, I asked my son to go to the grocery store across the street and pick up some lettuce. He sighed and said, "Why don't you just order it on Amazon?" FML

#21124599
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42107) - you deserved it (6645)

On 04/27/2014 at 7:01pm - kids - by nh-Amazon - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40425) - you deserved it (7953)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

#21104415
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32532) - you deserved it (17981)

On 04/04/2014 at 1:26pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

#21098025
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38399) - you deserved it (4764)

On 03/27/2014 at 8:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I faced my social anxiety and went to a chip shop on my own. I tried to have a conversation with the owner, but his thick accent made it difficult. He now knows where I live, what college I go to and I'm pretty sure I agreed to go to India with him. FML

#21096939
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36720) - you deserved it (7418)

On 03/26/2014 at 2:06pm - misc - by sociallyawkward (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I went on my sixth date with a guy I was beginning to really like. He asked if I'd mind if his friend Pete met up with us afterwards. I said sure. Turns out "Pete" is his penis. FML

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

#21077955
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41670) - you deserved it (2975)

On 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by fuck you, jack (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: