Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Hiimhaileypotter

Search for a member

Hiimhaileypotter
  • Town/Country : The Shire, Middle-Earth
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5080
  • Number of comments : 1266
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 70 posted

About Hiimhaileypotter : I like meeting new people so feel free to message me. If I am mean to you in a comment I either don't mean to be or I'm just being sarcastic... I've got pet rats and can answer questions you may have about them, feel free to ask! I've got a horse named Penny; she's my life! :) Talk to me :D ebonyirony is my favorite fml user.

Hiimhaileypotter's last visitors

HeyTherexxxmchmelev1993unworldlyalexTaylor22294pantherfan0877f36knix1993Nevracceptdefeatmpkpmhomiwanredneck_mechanicjgilmanx13

Hiimhaileypotter's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Tweet, tweet

You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

See all of Hiimhaileypotter's badges

Hiimhaileypotter's favorite FMLs

Today, I wrote a text to the guy I've had a crush on for two years. I typed "hey" and put my phone down, not ready to send it. A little while later, I heard it buzz. The reply said "Um... what?" Apparently my sister had added "I'm a shitty prostitute" to my text and sent it. FML

#21016150
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42361) - you deserved it (7074)

On 01/04/2014 at 12:25am - love - by ... - United States

Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML

#20996904
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34360) - you deserved it (6041)

On 12/18/2013 at 12:01pm - love - by whereismyprince? - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML

#20988723
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36262) - you deserved it (2016)

On 12/11/2013 at 6:58am - misc - by a.white - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

#20987856
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45272) - you deserved it (8089)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51169) - you deserved it (2912)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML

#20986172
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49232) - you deserved it (2945)

On 12/09/2013 at 10:10am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, the girl of my dreams said yes when I asked her out. Our conversation afterward consisted of her telling me "no one can know" and saying she doesn't want to do things normal couples do. I'm basically in the deepest level of the "friendzone": the friendzoned boyfriend. FML

#20983541
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47207) - you deserved it (4275)

On 12/07/2013 at 1:56am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She asked if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw my dumbfounded face, then played it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd posted on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML

#20975896
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51435) - you deserved it (4225)

On 11/30/2013 at 3:29pm - love - by fuckface? I wish (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57926) - you deserved it (4168)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML

#20960837
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54815) - you deserved it (2250)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:46pm - misc - by failed brood mare (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39277) - you deserved it (3290)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78557) - you deserved it (4549)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44293) - you deserved it (4579)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that my brother is adamant that if he records silence, then listens to said silence at full volume, it'll improve the headphones' noise-blocking abilities. I live with a complete idiot. FML

#20921378
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36593) - you deserved it (2824)

On 10/15/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Eggs6131 (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: