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Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28108) - you deserved it (4378)
On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43276) - you deserved it (11074)
On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States
I agree, your life sucks (33634) - you deserved it (6516)
On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24408) - you deserved it (1323)
On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12827) - you deserved it (32117)
On 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5121) - you deserved it (33452)
On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18578) - you deserved it (2161)
On 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by SFra - United States
Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5498) - you deserved it (15157)
On 10/23/2012 at 6:47pm - money - by Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! - United States (California)
Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6763) - you deserved it (36824)
On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14882) - you deserved it (1133)
On 10/22/2012 at 6:34pm - misc - by petra84 - United States (Colorado)
Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22267) - you deserved it (3162)
On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I decided to show my friends the picture I drew, picturing the four of us in a zombie apocalypse setting. Turns out they never saw me as their friend and I'm creeping them out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19097) - you deserved it (6508)
On 10/22/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by Nana (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)
Today, on the first cold night of autumn, I realized I need a girlfriend because the only way I can stay warm is if I spoon with my dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12567) - you deserved it (3810)
On 10/22/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by sadguyme (man) - United States (California)
Today, for the second time, I met the man I'm having an arranged marriage with in 3 months. I'd previously met him last night, while he was mugging me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30442) - you deserved it (1983)
On 10/17/2012 at 6:15am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26867) - you deserved it (3094)
On 10/06/2012 at 6:04am - love - by Jex (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Monday 20 May 2013
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