Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Hieroglyph

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

Hieroglyph

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 September 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 265
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Hieroglyph's page activity

Visits<b>awesomedog</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 11:08pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 11:22pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:05pm<b>moses1993</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 5:00am<b>91hayek</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:44am<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 2:44am<b>benjamins39</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 11:53pm<b>mgk860</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 8:29am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 8:17pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 3:45am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 12:29am<b>sky413</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 2:56pm<b>Soggybuns123</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 6:33pm<b>JVVortex</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 6:50pm<b>Turrence</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 11:52am<b>Ang19</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 8:36pm<b>grumpycat556</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 7:59pm

Hieroglyph's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Hieroglyph's badges

Hieroglyph's favorite FMLs

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21240415
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27721) - you deserved it (4375)

On 08/18/2014 at 9:26am - kids - by 919191 (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30522) - you deserved it (6102) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

#21239720
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34004) - you deserved it (4687)

On 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by ugh thanks - United States (Ohio)

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32593) - you deserved it (4812)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the man I have been in love with for years came to me with a beautiful ring and a heartfelt proposal. Too bad it ended with an eager, "So do you think he'll say yes?" FML

Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML

#21234785
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33941) - you deserved it (2948)

On 08/11/2014 at 11:02am - misc - by welptimetoburntheplacedown (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML

#21233010
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36429) - you deserved it (2550)

On 08/09/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by I already have one, thanks (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34570) - you deserved it (11178)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, as I was driving, a massive cockroach clicked its way across my windshield. I pulled over to fling it out the window, but it spread its wings and flew around like a hook-armed stabbing machine. I lost it in the dark car and now I can't find it. It's going to be a long drive home. FML

#21230826
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35334) - you deserved it (3820)

On 08/06/2014 at 9:34am - animals - by Baustigt - Australia

Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML

#21230823
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38864) - you deserved it (3221)

On 08/06/2014 at 9:21am - kids - by We raised that fool (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42586) - you deserved it (6722)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML

#21229943
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35559) - you deserved it (16236)

On 08/05/2014 at 8:31am - kids - by ihatespiders (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend laid his head on my bare chest and said, "You're like my mother." FML

#21229751
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40585) - you deserved it (3501)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:40am - love - by motherlover (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML

#21229613
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45988) - you deserved it (3661)

On 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

#21225778
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38444) - you deserved it (6682)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: