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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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HglFml

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HglFml
  • Town/Country : Sacromento, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 November 1995 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 308
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About HglFml : (add me) [:
http://www.myspace.com/darkrainclouds

i get ignored a lot. my family isnt exactly "supportive". i hope to marry this one guy whos life is completly fucked. i love him more than anything in the world, but we have our share of problems. both togther and apart. i have problems sleeping, and cant concentrate/sit still for anything. im a very understanding, forgiving, faithful person. i have almost no friends. FML?

:]
ps. even tho my FML's start with "Today" chances are none of them actually happened that day....

HglFml's last visitors

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

HglFml's favorite FMLs

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

#3950301 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (63753) - you deserved it (4386)

On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML

#3168193 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (54366) - you deserved it (1592)

On 06/24/2009 at 5:59am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I spent 4 hours carefully cleaning the inside and outside of my car. Fairly proud of the job I had done, I parked my car safely in my garage. Later, I opened my garage to find bird shit all over my car. Apparently birds get nervous when they get trapped in garages. FML

#3096278 (59)

I agree, your life sucks (29857) - you deserved it (3493)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:41pm - animals - by FML (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, one of my good friends confided in me about the affair she is having with our boss. She'd been sleeping with him for 3 months and told me they were in love, but it had to be kept quiet due to our company's very strict anti-fraternization policy . I'd been secretly seeing him all year. FML

#3060400 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (43543) - you deserved it (15988)

On 06/20/2009 at 1:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I bought a new mailbox to replace the old one that was stolen. Two hours after I put the new mailbox up, the old one was back and the new one was missing. FML

#3051580 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (46527) - you deserved it (2104)

On 06/20/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by Dumbass - United States (Florida)

Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML

#3007389 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (8856) - you deserved it (43484)

On 06/18/2009 at 7:39pm - love - by AlexK (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I was hanging out with a friend at IHOP. When I left, a middle aged man in the parking lot offered me $100 to sleep with him in the dumpsters behind the building. That is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML

#2976361 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (33771) - you deserved it (2459)

On 06/17/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Pancakegirl - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML

#2966896 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (21675) - you deserved it (48302)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by NotSoYoung (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finished the run for a play in which I played a gay man. Now that all the performances are over, I have kissed a man more times in my life than I have kissed a woman. I'm straight. FML

#2963863 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (39572) - you deserved it (6799)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:06am - love - by yashmoshin1 (man) - United States

Today, I decided I had gathered enough solid evidence to justify dumping my cheating girlfriend. When I turned up, she broke up with me before I had a chance to confront her. Why? Apparently I have trust issues. FML

#2963101 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (27932) - you deserved it (5805)

On 06/17/2009 at 9:03am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I sprained my wrist playing Guitar Hero. The ER doctor called all of his coworkers in to hear my story. They all laughed. FML

#2939443 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (13560) - you deserved it (32082)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:43pm - misc - by Slash (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I facebooked my friends about my upcoming birthday party, and told them to keep the date free. I got several responses telling me that's not possible, because that's the day the new Harry Potter movie comes out. FML

#2935549 (428)

I agree, your life sucks (33402) - you deserved it (19469)

On 06/16/2009 at 7:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML

#2820410 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (43906) - you deserved it (4569)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49am - kids - by downlowtooslow (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494 (859)

I agree, your life sucks (85939) - you deserved it (50905)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML

#2636104 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (47281) - you deserved it (3424)

On 06/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)