About HeyHeyFishFillet : Yea, I'm weird.
HeyHeyFishFillet's FML badges
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HeyHeyFishFillet's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at the orthodontist. As the lady was clipping my brackets, she missed and clipped my gums instead. She looked at me and said, "Oh sorry, you're bleeding really badly. See, I got these fake nails put on and I guess I'm just not used to them. Let me try again." She missed. FML
by BracesSuck / 04/09/2009 at 8:33am / United States (Missouri) / Health
Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML
by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, whilst working at Subway, I took an order for 6 footlongs. The entire process took 15 minutes due to the customer's hesitant and glacial pace. When it came to paying, he pulled out his wallet, looked inside, looked at me, and walked quickly out of the store. FML
by matte / 03/30/2009 at 8:16am / Australia (South Australia) / Work
Today, one of my co-workers invited me to a cookout at her house with some other people from my new job. She said to wear my suit. Assuming she had a pool, I showed up in a bikini, only to find everyone else wearing business attire and staring at me like I had lost my mind. FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 10:36pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML
by MoneyMike / 03/11/2009 at 8:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking through the mall with my boyfriend of a year and a half. There was sign outside of the jewelry store that said, "Engagement Rings-No interest for 12 months." I said, "Look, baby! No interest." He replied, "That's right...NO INTEREST." FML
by Ma.Sa.La. / 02/27/2009 at 10:18am / United States (Maryland) / Love
by acincollege / 02/21/2009 at 12:36am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I went to a fastfood restaurant to pick up food for my work party. I ordered 250 chicken fingers, 15 orders of fries, and 2 gallons of tea, and the guy behind the counter asked, "Is this for here or to go?" FML
by efffmylife / 02/15/2009 at 4:27pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
by ADT / 02/08/2009 at 9:14pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by #201 / 02/05/2009 at 8:23am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by PlayTag / 02/04/2009 at 7:58pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Sam / 02/03/2009 at 5:38pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML
by houdini / 02/02/2009 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I drove an hour in a rainstorm to go see my boyfriend. Thirty minutes and a blow job later, he tells me he's going to meet some friends for dinner in half an hour then kicks me out of his house. It's still raining. FML
by rained / 02/02/2009 at 12:44am / Hong Kong / Intimacy
Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML
by Noname / 01/30/2009 at 1:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…
- Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, my 12-year-old daughter is a Nirvana fan, while my 20-year-old son is a Justin Bieber fan.…