About HeyHeyFishFillet : Please message me, I'm lonely :(.
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Today, after I requested a sick day, a very close co-worker texted her boyfriend that I'm a bitch for pretending to have the same rare illness that she recently suffered. She said it was unlikely, disrespectful and unfair that I didn't even look sick. I know this because she texted me instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17193) - you deserved it (1981)
On 08/23/2012 at 3:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24378) - you deserved it (6207)
On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4634) - you deserved it (26585)
On 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Croydon)
Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11938) - you deserved it (28909)
On 06/09/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11938) - you deserved it (28909)
On 06/09/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to break up with her. It was a hard decision and both of us became quite emotionally overwhelmed at the time. We began to hug as a final goodbye, then her mum burst in the room and yelled, "HE FINALLY PROPOSED!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29354) - you deserved it (2414)
On 06/03/2012 at 10:21am - love - by Matt - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33522) - you deserved it (2675)
On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon
Today, my girlfriend of four years friend-zoned me while I was proposing to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34649) - you deserved it (1960)
On 04/11/2012 at 2:27pm - love - by crjsej - United States (Texas)
Today, I saw an article about how some people think internet access is more important than sex. I asked my boyfriend which he thought was more important. He chose internet access. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13399) - you deserved it (4449)
On 03/21/2012 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by justwow (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10284) - you deserved it (22458)
On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)
Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19419) - you deserved it (9489)
On 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20783) - you deserved it (4363)
On 08/20/2011 at 2:26pm - work - by ChePow (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25838) - you deserved it (7617)
On 06/02/2011 at 1:32pm - health - by raebelle - United States
Today, I came out to my parents. They nodded empathetically throughout my entire speech and told me repeatedly that it was okay. As I smiled and stood up, my dad asked, "But you're still going to marry a guy, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32407) - you deserved it (6799)
On 04/13/2011 at 6:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I co-starred in a production of Hamlet. Halfway through play, the actor playing Hamlet forgot his lines, threw a raging temper tantrum, screaming about how much he hated the play and how he wanted to go home in front of hundreds of audience members. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25549) - you deserved it (2409)
On 03/26/2011 at 11:41am - misc - by Sue (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Friday 24 May 2013
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