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Hetalia_freak's favorite FMLs
Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML
by Watchtower? More like fortress. / 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm / Norway (Oslo) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a job babysitting two really sweet kids. When their parents left, they told me that their cat had died. I told them how sorry I was, to which one of them replied, "That's okay. We still have him in a box. Wanna see?" FML
by Jessica / 10/18/2012 at 9:57pm / United States / Kids
by not as scarred as he should be / 10/18/2012 at 2:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out for a few drinks with some friends. All night, I kept smiling and showing off my newly brace-free teeth. Later on, one of my friends drunkly asked, "Why does she keep smiling? Her teeth are fucking jacked." FML
by murp / 10/18/2012 at 12:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, I got a phone call from my 6-year-old son's school telling me they were concerned about him as he wouldn't stop barking at the radiator. After talking to my husband about it, I found out he's been teaching him so he could see the look on my face. FML
Today, I woke up and found a little note where my husband should have been. It said, "We've had some good times, hun, but it's time for me to move on." We've been married for 15 years, and have 3 children. FML
by AbandonedHouseWife / 10/17/2012 at 4:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by L / 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy
by Bug / 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by katie_sadface / 10/14/2012 at 10:19pm / Canada / Money
Today, I witnessed my mother-in-law reach into my wife's purse and practically empty it out into her pocket. When I confronted her and called my wife into the room, both of them accused me of lying through my teeth, because I've always hated her. FML
by hate enough to kill... / 10/14/2012 at 4:57pm / Netherlands (Limburg) / Money
Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML
by Anonymous / 10/14/2012 at 1:03pm / Estonia / Miscellaneous
by lonelygirl / 10/14/2012 at 8:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by stop it ninja / 10/14/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by fucking fratricidal / 10/13/2012 at 6:25pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
- Today, my new doctor gave me a pamphlet for a cervical cancer prevention injection and told me it's… Today, My two Co-Workers and I realized that we have been working for the same company for years as… Today, I started my first day working the drive thru at Taco Bell. My very first customer, a lady,…