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Hetalia_freak's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 5:00pm / Germany / Love
Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML
by acnecream / 05/03/2013 at 9:23am / Finland (Eastern Finland) / Transportation
Today, I called a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrived, I realised I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turned my back. FML
by Brady / 04/30/2013 at 12:00pm / Spain (Madrid) / Transportation
by conbon123 / 04/29/2013 at 3:20am / United States (Oregon) / Animals
Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML
by stuckwithafamilyofcunts / 04/27/2013 at 4:23pm / Spain (Comunidad Valenciana) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/27/2013 at 2:32pm / Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis) / Love
Today, after 2 months of my new neighbours' kids throwing rocks at our cars, constantly swearing at us, bullying my siblings in and out of school, and vandalising our property, their mother has convinced the landlord that we're the ones out of control. FML
by neighbour hell / 04/25/2013 at 1:56pm / Norway (Vest-Agder) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm / Thailand / Kids
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 7:33pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Kids
by reyoflight / 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Kids
Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 6:17am / Germany (Berlin) / Work
by Wallz99 / 04/19/2013 at 2:00am / Pakistan (Azad Kashmir) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML
by notacaveman / 04/16/2013 at 9:27am / Netherlands / Intimacy
by Kutakito / 04/15/2013 at 4:18pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
by wow / 04/15/2013 at 2:36pm / Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City) / Love
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…