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Hetalia_freak's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML
by Anonymous / 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML
by bobosgonnagetyou / 11/01/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Teiu88 / 10/20/2013 at 10:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by cantcloselegs / 10/20/2013 at 8:39am / United States / Health
Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML
by overly nationalistic redneck / 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML
by jnisla / 10/11/2013 at 6:44pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health
Today, my neighbour came over with a bag containing lingerie, and apologized while blushing. Turns out his boy was the reason that my lingerie kept disappearing from my garden clothesline recently. His "boy" is over 20 years younger than me. FML
by noreia / 10/06/2013 at 12:11am / Hong Kong / Kids
Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML
by blargh / 10/03/2013 at 1:39pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Work
by monkey / 09/19/2013 at 6:30am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
by Jake / 09/16/2013 at 3:08pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML
by anonymous / 09/16/2013 at 1:35am / United States (Oregon) / Health
by alexbrooke / 09/15/2013 at 10:49pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing sports injuries, and I mentioned that I pulled a muscle in my crotch last year. He snorted and called me a clueless idiot because according to him, "girls don't have crotches". He's a med student. I sense malpractice lawsuits in our future. FML
by fucking financial ruin / 08/23/2013 at 2:21pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by really? / 08/13/2013 at 2:58am / United States / Love
- Today I discovered my first singular gray hair. I am 26 and I've known others to grey even earlier,… Today, I was telling a boy a joke that involved a "secret boyfriend". When I finished it, he asked… Today, I found out that the weird noise I thought was my cat ended up being my neighbor in my yard…