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Offline (the 04/13/2016 at 1:09pm)



  • Town/Country : Minneapolis, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 November 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 705
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Hesher's page activity

Visits<b>Why_me499</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 11:35am<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 3:09pm<b>EddySaBoy</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 4:55am<b>312random213</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 4:15am<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 10:33pm<b>moldypickles</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 8:58pm<b>Allydad</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 9:49pm<b>Insufferable</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 11:11pm<b>SilverInGray</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 7:47pm<b>Junelise</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 3:14pm<b>cannbend</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 11:57pm<b>doraquiexplore</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 1:39pm<b>analbeadlicker</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 5:35am<b>zippocobalt6</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 1:01pm<b>Cliff6pc</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 4:43pm<b>jupiterdjay</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 4:42pm<b>UnluckyLatina</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 10:45am<b>umerin</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 7:57am

Fucked!<b>Why_me499</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 5:36pm<b>UnluckyLatina</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 3:45pm<b>LadyLiani</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 4:51pm<b>dcs00</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 5:56pm<b>PicanteSeed</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 8:49am<b>MeowMcMeowenson</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 5:25pm<b>zBerryz</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 5:28am

Hesher's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Hesher's badges

Hesher's favorite FMLs

Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML

by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, on my daughter's 9th birthday, I have to let her know that her dog died in his sleep overnight. Happy birthday. FML

Today, my mom meant to send a picture of her poop to my aunt, but sent it to my swim coach instead. FML

by kobolobo / 08/11/2015 at 12:45pm / United States (Washington) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after working a double shift, I got home to total pandemonium. My dogs had crapped all over the house, my kitchen was soaking wet, etc. My mother, who just moved in with me, was sitting on the couch, saying she had no idea what happened. FML

by ArtemisRwill / 07/14/2015 at 4:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I sent my father a text asking when he was finally coming to meet his 4-month-old granddaughter. His response? "I forgot." He forgot he has a granddaughter. FML

by Feronia / 03/18/2015 at 9:16am / Netherlands (Zeeland) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I didn't get the promotion I interviewed for at work. A guy who's worked here for only two months did. My supervisor's reason: she doesn't think I'm going to amount to anything. I work at Home Depot to pay my way for college. FML

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

by RuinedTheMood / 09/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

by marcranger / 08/11/2014 at 7:40pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

by BadgerSpirit / 04/27/2011 at 9:35am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I was driving with my dog. Looking out the half-open window he stepped on the switch, the window went up, causing his head to get stuck. I looked down and he had scared the shit out of himself, all over my shirt. FML

by fufu_mutt / 12/14/2010 at 11:24pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

by aaalias34 / 02/26/2010 at 6:13am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 5:30am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy