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About Her_Majesty : Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl,
but she doesn't have a lot to say
Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl
but she changes from day to day
I want to tell her that I love her a lot
But I gotta get a belly full of wine
Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl
Someday I'm going to make her mine, oh yeah,
Someday I'm going to make her mine.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, one of my employees lit my tie on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17584) - you deserved it (4066)
On 01/19/2010 at 12:00am - work - by mcdman (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was dissecting a pig for my anatomy class. The smell of four day-old dead pig caused me to faint. My mom drove me home and warmed me up some left overs for lunch. It was pork chops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19170) - you deserved it (2591)
On 01/14/2010 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year old sister passed out on the couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7361) - you deserved it (34916)
On 01/10/2010 at 10:37am - health - by badsister (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was wondering why my home smelled so weird, until I found out that my 4 year old son had been secretly scattering around food he didn't like to eat throughout the house. How did I find out? No one else in this family leaves half eaten spinach all over my underwear drawer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16032) - you deserved it (2250)
On 01/10/2010 at 5:45am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19386) - you deserved it (22685)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19070) - you deserved it (2379)
On 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by James4929 (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28647) - you deserved it (1892)
On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34122) - you deserved it (2422)
On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by notgoodenough38 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of 'Fight Club'. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18603) - you deserved it (8590)
On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57269) - you deserved it (8514)
On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I woke up at 3 in the morning and realized I forgot a 30 page english essay that was due the next day. Knowing I still had 12 pages to research and write, I bolted. I worked until 12PM and was almost done when my dad came in and unplugged the computer because I "need to go outside more." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41207) - you deserved it (7850)
On 09/27/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by riotrock (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was performing in the musical 'Cabaret'. I was playing a Nazi soldier, swastika armband and all. Someone thought it would be funny to take my real clothes while I was on stage. I had to walk a mile back my house with my costume on. Someone threw eggs at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39118) - you deserved it (3563)
On 07/21/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I finally exchanged pictures with the woman I've been seeing online for some time now. She replied, saying "Thats not funny. Some people actually look like that." I sent my real picture, and thought I actually looked pretty good in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57713) - you deserved it (4805)
On 04/21/2009 at 2:21pm - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (167984) - you deserved it (51068)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
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