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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Hemlock510

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Hemlock510
  • Town/Country : Buda, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 August 1993 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 562
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Hemlock510's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the mall and had to parallel park. It took me 10 to 12 minutes of maneuvering before I got into the slot. When I turned off the car and got out, there were 8 people laughing hysterically and clapping for me. FML

#3706736 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (17440) - you deserved it (30906)

On 07/13/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by greek_dancer (woman) - United States

Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML

#3705241 (268)

I agree, your life sucks (6070) - you deserved it (57489)

On 07/13/2009 at 12:28am - love - by Terry (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I called Tech Support because the computer program wouldn't let me open files for my online classes. After an hour, and being walked through the downloading process multiple times. There was a pause and he said "You're a F*ing idiot." and hung up. It still won't work. FML

#2525749 (350)

I agree, your life sucks (38447) - you deserved it (15831)

On 06/02/2009 at 4:42am - misc - by holliefall (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (27966) - you deserved it (70773)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a woman drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible, but now my house is condemned. FML

#924163 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (87609) - you deserved it (2863)

On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - health - by Fitz (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML

#809473 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (20251) - you deserved it (46760)

On 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

#56665 (529)

I agree, your life sucks (141723) - you deserved it (53041)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML

#3221 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (20662) - you deserved it (2103)

On 01/28/2009 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by epistaxis - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I'm looking for a job, and the employer I spoke to by phone was busy, but before hanging up he said "we will call you soon". I still wonder how he plans to do so without even having asked for my number. FML

#2053 (38)

I agree, your life sucks (10289) - you deserved it (1064)

On 01/21/2009 at 12:03pm - love - by maddy - Sent from mobile version