HelenKeller1

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Offline (the 07/10/2016 at 9:30pm)

HelenKeller1

95Fucked!

HelenKeller1HelenKeller1
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 August 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11220
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HelenKeller1 : Lindsey, 18, 😘💋 snapchat; meatloaf2012
I work at Red Lobster 💁 22 piercings & counting.

HelenKeller1's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 9:43am<b>Wizardo</b> - yesterday at 7:55pm<b>Chris_1414</b> - yesterday at 3:53pm<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 3:54am<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 10:54pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 10:03pm<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 3:39am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 6:22pm<b>BarthConnor425</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 1:48am<b>duduv2</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 12:51am<b>WinterChild</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 4:19pm<b>Rodgerdodger17</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 6:31pm<b>majoroftheair</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 1:14am<b>madnessking</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 1:59pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 9:11am<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 12:49am<b>Mons</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 9:35am<b>frankmz</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 11:53pm

Fucked!<b>Rodgerdodger17</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 12:31am<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 6:25pm<b>Hyperkeratosin</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 2:10pm<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 2:05am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 3:08pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 11:03pm<b>Emanpirate68</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 7:39pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 3:32pm<b>davidaloco123</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 9:06am<b>laynethefirst</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 12:39pm<b>yungblkrich</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 7:12am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 11:24pm<b>marshm610</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 11:05pm<b>Magnoxidans</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 7:18pm<b>OmgimBored</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 3:36am<b>ChugTheBleach</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 9:47pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 2:44pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 5:26am

HelenKeller1's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of HelenKeller1's badges

HelenKeller1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2016 at 1:41pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, on my college visit, I met a perfect girl for me, sweet, gorgeous, on the same career path. I remember everything we talked about, where she is from, what sport she plays, and her recent internship. But when I went to look her up online, I couldn't remember one thing, her name. FML

by Roll Tide of Tears / 01/16/2016 at 10:28pm / United States / Love

Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2016 at 1:40am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend and we passed the shop where my ex works at. My boyfriend slapped my ass right as my ex came out. It was so sudden that I started choking on a fry and dropped soda all over myself. My ex kept laughing all while my boyfriend kept apologizing. FML

by Gamergirl137 / 01/15/2016 at 9:28pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend actually slept with one of the celebrities on her "5 celebrities we're allowed to sleep with" list. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2016 at 7:51am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML

by ShouldveStayedAVirgin / 01/13/2016 at 1:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I finished reading a manga series on a website I go on all the time. As I read the last page I got a huge celebratory message from the website saying I was the first one to read every manga on their site. The website opened in 2011 and has over 30,000 manga. My God, I need a social life. FML

by Lesser spotted female gaming nerd / 01/11/2016 at 9:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Geek

Today, I was out with my brother and his group of very cute friends at a Cheesecake Factory. When the server came to take our orders, she asked me what kind of sauce I liked. Like a complete fuckwit, I blurted, "I like creamy white stuff." The guy across from me choked on his water. FML

by Bex98 / 01/11/2016 at 3:17am / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I played charades with my girlfriend and her family. When it was her turn to act out a phrase, she simply walked to the center of the room and pointed to herself and then at me. It took less than 5 seconds for someone to correctly guess "Beauty and the Beast". FML

by fuglymug / 01/08/2016 at 4:48pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2016 at 1:23pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss dropped a highly important and dense report on my desk that had to be finished by the end of the day. After the initial panic attack and hours of scrupulous work, I finished. She then asked me to pick up the revised copy, where my name was replaced with hers. FML

by Bottom feeder / 01/07/2016 at 10:41pm / Hong Kong / Work

Today, I recently gave birth to my daughter, and my husband and I both have dark hair and bushy eyebrows. We never thought it was a problem until our daughter was born with a dark, bushy unibrow. Now I'm too nervous to take pictures of her 'cause our family and friends laugh every time they see her. FML

by bushy brows / 01/04/2016 at 6:13pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I had to listen to my brother whine yet again about being single and how unfair it is. This is a guy who owns an "I fuck on the first date" t-shirt and has more than once referred to women as "vaginas with a person attached". Last time I called him out for being such a dick, I got punched. FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2016 at 9:01am / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Miscellaneous

Today, I faced my fears. I've always had a weird fear of looking out of windows at night, afraid a face would suddenly appear. When I heard a strange noise outside, I looked out the window. Sure enough, the face of a man suddenly appeared. FML

by NeverLookingAgain / 12/29/2015 at 11:16pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML

by whatthefuck / 12/27/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy