Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 August 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7894
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HelenKeller1 : Lindsey, 17, 😘💋 snapchat; meatloaf2012
I work at Red Lobster 💁

HelenKeller1's page activity

Visits<b>Leo619</b> - 18 hours ago<b>AndyPurdy</b> - yesterday at 3:41am<b>idkwyatt</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 10:38pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 2:15am<b>Taymoo1515</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 1:49am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 12:33pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 11:42am<b>hyperman585</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 10:18am<b>Blusinn</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 11:49pm<b>delilablue95</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 4:26am<b>mclint_</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 6:19pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 4:22pm<b>marktimemark</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 7:46pm<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 12:56am<b>PaulChristie</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:18pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 1:06am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 5:08am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 2:10pm

Fucked!<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 8:22am<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:23pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 8:11pm<b>Twill3422</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 9:00am<b>Martermelon</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 6:41am<b>demonte_jones</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 2:49am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:26pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 1:55pm<b>TheDog6</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 4:18am<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 1:17am<b>Joshery</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 7:50pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 5:13am<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 7:32pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 3:37am<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 7:21am<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 11:01pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 2:39pm<b>allred1997</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 8:30am

HelenKeller1's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of HelenKeller1's badges

HelenKeller1's favorite FMLs

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28231) - you deserved it (40834)

On 08/07/2014 at 11:36am - health - by Dancing King (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I had to give a video presentation. My video was on animal abuse, but I somehow played a video of myself singing Britney Spears in my room. FML

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51834) - you deserved it (22691)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64465) - you deserved it (8330)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML


I agree, your life sucks (56056) - you deserved it (8390)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45354) - you deserved it (6569)

On 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm - work - by confusing (man) - Zimbabwe

Today, I realized that when a girl asks what your plans are for Valentine's Day and you say "nothing" and she responds with, "Oh, I don't have any plans either", it means she wants you to take her out. Took me three months to figure that out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36102) - you deserved it (56447)

On 05/19/2014 at 1:15pm - love - by clueless - United States (California)

Today, I received yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applied to. After crying for a week about how lousy I felt, my older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (70733) - you deserved it (5267)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:40am - misc - by livingamongtheflowers - United States

Today, I took a pregnancy test because I'd missed a few periods, gained weight, and been moody. Turns out I'm just fat and moody. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48373) - you deserved it (11078)

On 05/14/2014 at 9:12am - health - by thanks4support - United States (Ohio)

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23709) - you deserved it (68061)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm - health - by ShutTheFuCupcake (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I nervously flirted with a very cute guy. Being a little overweight, I rarely think cute guys will go for me. This line of thinking was yet again correct when he casually pulled his sleeve up revealing a tattoo of a pinup girl with a "NO FAT CHICKS" sign below it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59024) - you deserved it (7501)

On 05/12/2014 at 7:49pm - love - by nofatchicks (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, some girl in the street mistook me for Richard Simmons. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35290) - you deserved it (5568)

On 05/09/2014 at 4:31pm - misc - by romancocks - United States (Florida)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39837) - you deserved it (21342)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41451) - you deserved it (4550)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm - health - by randomusername99 - United States (New York)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: