Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

HelenKeller1

Offline (yesterday at 4:34am) | Search for a member

HelenKeller1

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 August 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2484
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HelenKeller1 : Lindsey, 17, no, I'm not blind. message me! Most of my good friends are guys. gym is life kik;Dancerlove123 snapchat; meatloaf2012

HelenKeller1's page activity

Visits<b>abv96</b> - yesterday at 5:04pm<b>RandEm2497</b> - yesterday at 2:21am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:51pm<b>CaintReadFML</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 1:50am<b>Prerogative</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:41am<b>eddyinfinity</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:04pm<b>Dodopy</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 7:58pm<b>kkscott</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 9:22pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 8:34pm<b>Jonaahhhh</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 3:17pm<b>umerin</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 2:26am<b>iSativa</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 5:16pm<b>alejandroR82</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 3:15pm<b>SmallBean</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:12pm<b>cohnsonj</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:18am<b>gis0392</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:39pm<b>RoVeR_2000</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:04pm<b>Kirbyzx</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:04pm

HelenKeller1's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of HelenKeller1's badges

HelenKeller1's favorite FMLs

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58702) - you deserved it (10832)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, I was chatting online with several relatives, discussing our family reunion. Bored out of my mind, I clicked to rename the conversation to "Boring shit with almost dead people." I didn't know it'd rename it for everyone. FML

Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML

#20759724
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42086) - you deserved it (4265)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by dry spell (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

#20759121
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50013) - you deserved it (12142)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by yeshehaspornaddiction (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I saw my former high school teacher at the mall. After a nice conversation, she mentioned that I "still dress like a slut." FML

#20757992
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39859) - you deserved it (19504)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my crush kissed me for the first time. However, my hair was falling into my face and getting in the way. No problem, I wear a wig so without thinking, I simply removed it. I don't think he'll kiss me again anytime soon. FML

#20755685
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47327) - you deserved it (18247)

On 06/30/2013 at 6:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I heard my husband telling his friend that I used to be a skank and was "easier than 1 plus 1" when we first met. I was still a virgin when we got married. FML

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

#20755318
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44865) - you deserved it (2781)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by unfortunate (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML

#20755283
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48796) - you deserved it (3131)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by whipplewhip - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML

#20754112
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53816) - you deserved it (6388)

On 06/29/2013 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML

#20752290
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50824) - you deserved it (3610)

On 06/28/2013 at 11:51am - misc - by me - United States

Today, I rode my motorcycle to an appointment and parked in the parking garage. When I got out, some ass had pushed my bike from the spot and had boxed it in between the wall and his car. Apparently, he felt he deserved the spot more than me and didn't care if I wanted to leave. FML

#20748752
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39172) - you deserved it (3460)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by MadMax - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt have the heart to tell her that they tasted better than the ones she usually makes. FML

#20742017
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47621) - you deserved it (3941)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:05am - misc - by kittybad - United States

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68762) - you deserved it (6548)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, while running, a man ran up next to me and started jogging with me. He asked if he could run with me and I said yes. Later, when I told him I was going home, he followed me home. When I asked him to leave, he say down on my lawn in protest. He has been there for over 4 hours. FML

#20738304
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51159) - you deserved it (7723)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: