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HelenKeller1

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HelenKeller1

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HelenKeller1HelenKeller1
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 August 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4505
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HelenKeller1 : Lindsey, 17, no, I'm not blind. message me! taken by the best 💙 Most of my good friends are guys. gym is life 💪kik;Dancerlove123 snapchat; meatloaf2012

Twitter: @LindseyHelfrick

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

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HelenKeller1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

#20915065
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48340) - you deserved it (16264)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:40am - intimacy - by DisgustinglyFrustrated - Argentina (Santa Fe)

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

#20906275
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35304) - you deserved it (29735)

On 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Kyra.45 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to dinner with a guy I like and paid the $120 bill. After joking that he was an expensive date, he replied, "I laugh at how you think this is a date." FML

#20905656
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50009) - you deserved it (5761)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:14am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my teacher was talking about anorexia and bulimia. Midway through the lesson, she stopped and knowingly asked if I wanted to share my experiences with the class. I don't have an eating disorder, just a screwed-up metabolism. FML

#20904715
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51014) - you deserved it (2999)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:37pm - health - by 94lbs of muscle -

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

#20904456
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16552) - you deserved it (109762)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:43am - love - by Lilly (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML

#20898893
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58548) - you deserved it (37431)

On 09/28/2013 at 7:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out I was adopted when my drunk dad made a terrible Star Wars joke. FML

#20893338
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39066) - you deserved it (2474)

On 09/23/2013 at 6:49pm - misc - by theynamedmeluke (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

#20883308
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53870) - you deserved it (4950)

On 09/16/2013 at 12:35am - health - by chestycough - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

#20881272
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40011) - you deserved it (3322)

On 09/14/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

#20870528
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51673) - you deserved it (18800)

On 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I explained to my roommate that if she kept using all of our kitchen utensils as sex toys and hoarding them because of the varying degrees of orgasms she could achieve, we wouldn't be able to cook or eat in our own house. FML

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML

#20867080
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36573) - you deserved it (6809)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:25am - misc - by my back hurts - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML

#20866691
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34788) - you deserved it (6295)

On 09/03/2013 at 9:32pm - misc - by JustAnotherFML23 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

#20866525
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23161) - you deserved it (36645)

On 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend got offered a job at Abercrombie. The first thing he asked was "they only hire hot people, right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. FML



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Wednesday 28 January 2015

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