HelenKeller1

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Offline (the 07/10/2016 at 9:30pm)

HelenKeller1

95Fucked!

HelenKeller1HelenKeller1
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 August 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11245
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HelenKeller1 : Lindsey, 18, 😘💋 snapchat; meatloaf2012
I work at Red Lobster 💁 22 piercings & counting.

HelenKeller1's page activity

Visits<b>Trollx</b> - 8 hours ago<b>hardesty2904</b> - 9 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 9:43am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 7:55pm<b>Chris_1414</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 3:53pm<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 3:54am<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 10:54pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 10:03pm<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 3:39am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 6:22pm<b>BarthConnor425</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 1:48am<b>duduv2</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 12:51am<b>WinterChild</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 4:19pm<b>Rodgerdodger17</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 6:31pm<b>majoroftheair</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 1:14am<b>madnessking</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 1:59pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 9:11am<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 12:49am

Fucked!<b>Rodgerdodger17</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 12:31am<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 6:25pm<b>Hyperkeratosin</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 2:10pm<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 2:05am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 3:08pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 11:03pm<b>Emanpirate68</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 7:39pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 3:32pm<b>davidaloco123</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 9:06am<b>laynethefirst</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 12:39pm<b>yungblkrich</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 7:12am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 11:24pm<b>marshm610</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 11:05pm<b>Magnoxidans</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 7:18pm<b>OmgimBored</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 3:36am<b>ChugTheBleach</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 9:47pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 2:44pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 5:26am

HelenKeller1's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of HelenKeller1's badges

HelenKeller1's favorite FMLs

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML

by Dancing King / 08/07/2014 at 11:36am / Norway (Rogaland) / Health

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

by younggirl101 / 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to give a video presentation. My video was on animal abuse, but I somehow played a video of myself singing Britney Spears in my room. FML

by SirTalkaton / 08/03/2014 at 1:38pm / United States (California) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:16am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML

by Yeppets / 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm / United States / Love

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

by Face fucking palm / 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

by NoSexForMe / 07/13/2014 at 3:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

by oh shit / 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 12:16am / United States / Kids

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML

by Fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. / 06/19/2014 at 5:05pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

by gracezering / 06/17/2014 at 7:45am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2014 at 2:42am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Kids

Today, a guy I had been casually seeing asked me to dinner. Thinking he could be wanting to make things serious, I got all dressed up. Turns out he got a girlfriend and just wanted to tell me in person to avoid things being awkward. We then waited in silence for our meal. FML

by moneybenny / 06/07/2014 at 6:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

by confusing / 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm / Zimbabwe / Work

Today, I took my driving test. I had pulled out of my three point turn in a neighborhood and started driving again, thinking something wasn't quite right. The lady testing me looked over at me and said, "Sweetie, you're driving on the wrong side of the road." FML

by Lindsey / 05/24/2014 at 11:22am / United States / Miscellaneous