Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

HelenKeller1

Online | Search for a member

HelenKeller1

62Fucked!

HelenKeller1HelenKeller1
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 August 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8616
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HelenKeller1 : Lindsey, 18, 😘💋 snapchat; meatloaf2012
I work at Red Lobster 💁 I'm a busy person but I try to answer messages, so ask me anything 😊

HelenKeller1's page activity

Visits<b>javankipp</b> - yesterday at 3:59pm<b>Mons</b> - yesterday at 2:01pm<b>Shayn_25</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 9:26am<b>am1717</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 3:39am<b>WinterChild</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 1:28am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 4:32am<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 6:16pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 5:13am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:47pm<b>MoDDbest</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:34am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 12:14am<b>spursfan101</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:24pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 12:07pm<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 1:00am<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 6:11am<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 6:01pm<b>Linemanmike</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 5:15am<b>johny93</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 2:44pm

Fucked!<b>MoDDbest</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 8:52pm<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 8:47am<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 3:26pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 9:28pm<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 9:03pm<b>johny93</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 3:15am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 8:00am<b>DARKDAY07</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 6:06am<b>dbyrne20</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 1:43am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 10:55am<b>chandler88</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 4:38pm<b>ardenxo</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 6:35am<b>youngmessi252525</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 2:11am<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 9:33pm<b>Linemanmike</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 12:00am<b>WinterChild</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 6:58pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 6:25am<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 5:29am

HelenKeller1's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of HelenKeller1's badges

HelenKeller1's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML

#20752290
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54696) - you deserved it (3905)

On 06/28/2013 at 11:51am - misc - by me - United States

Today, I rode my motorcycle to an appointment and parked in the parking garage. When I got out, some ass had pushed my bike from the spot and had boxed it in between the wall and his car. Apparently, he felt he deserved the spot more than me and didn't care if I wanted to leave. FML

#20748752
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42484) - you deserved it (3747)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by MadMax - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was told by a friend that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. Her defence was that if I had a bigger dick she wouldn't have been, in her words, forced to go elsewhere for sex. My mother's response when I confided this in her: "Ask me if I care." FML

#20742827
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51366) - you deserved it (4877)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:19pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt have the heart to tell her that they tasted better than the ones she usually makes. FML

#20742017
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51466) - you deserved it (4272)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:05am - misc - by kittybad - United States

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73877) - you deserved it (7026)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, while running, a man ran up next to me and started jogging with me. He asked if he could run with me and I said yes. Later, when I told him I was going home, he followed me home. When I asked him to leave, he say down on my lawn in protest. He has been there for over 4 hours. FML

#20738304
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54924) - you deserved it (8159)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I lost my car keys, so I asked my ex-husband if he still had his spare to my car. He said he'd send it. I got an empty envelope with a troll face on it. There's a reason I left him. FML

#20738006
122 comments

Today, I was at a swim meet, swimming as hard as I'd ever swum before. During the last lap I saw no one in the lanes next to me. Thinking I was first, I became extremely excited. When I came to the wall, I realized the reason no one else was around: They already finished the race. I was last. FML

#20724700
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50576) - you deserved it (7486)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by :( - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#20724232
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57134) - you deserved it (6882)

On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML

#20716126
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37875) - you deserved it (8852)

On 06/09/2013 at 7:33pm - work - by EmployeeOfTheMonth - United States (Idaho)

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

#20701600
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59490) - you deserved it (6438)

On 06/02/2013 at 4:48pm - intimacy - by i'm not psychic, mother fucker (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been talking to online and sending certain pictures to is actually my ex's new boyfriend. He ended up telling me he'd just wanted to see how he compared to me down below because my ex refused to go into detail about it. FML

#20698485
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51135) - you deserved it (23891)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by WTF (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML

#20694934
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42538) - you deserved it (10503)

On 05/30/2013 at 8:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59153) - you deserved it (4607)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

#20672414
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51994) - you deserved it (4747)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: