Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

HelenKeller1

Online | Search for a member

HelenKeller1

3Liked!

HelenKeller1HelenKeller1
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 August 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3032
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HelenKeller1 : Lindsey, 17, no, I'm not blind. message me! Most of my good friends are guys. gym is life 💪kik;Dancerlove123 snapchat; meatloaf2012

Twitter: @LindseyHelfrick 😘

HelenKeller1's page activity

Visits<b>middleground</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 2:41pm<b>kkscott</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 12:01am<b>LanceGoodthrust</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 11:28pm<b>Dodopy</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 5:47pm<b>eddyinfinity</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 7:56pm<b>Korpz13</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 2:42am<b>Kirito_Kazuto</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:24pm<b>Codyfootball</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:47pm<b>AnasMerchant</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 4:48am<b>abdiG</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 7:14pm<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 12:35am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 10:43pm<b>CelticKing</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:43pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 7:59pm<b>Cristian89</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 5:50pm<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 5:22pm<b>Alicestraza</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 10:52pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 8:07pm

Liked!<b>Cristian89</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 11:51pm<b>Korpz13</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 10:02pm

HelenKeller1's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of HelenKeller1's badges

HelenKeller1's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought my boyfriend over to meet the family. After several long moments of silence, one of my sisters burst out laughing, and asked, "Okay, who is this guy really?" FML

#17954133
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26138) - you deserved it (2605)

On 10/10/2011 at 7:16pm - love - by octoberrain - United States (Ohio)

Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML

#17908235
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7512) - you deserved it (57988)

On 10/04/2011 at 11:28pm - misc - by danii - Reserved

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Devastated, he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine was too much for me to handle, so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML

#17901380
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12282) - you deserved it (38805)

On 10/04/2011 at 1:22am - love - by backtosquareone - Asia/Pacific Region

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

#17880810
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39361) - you deserved it (5078)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Patricia - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

#17874410
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25736) - you deserved it (6094)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to an interview for a job at a company I've applied for numerous times this year. When I showed up at the interview room, I found it was a vacant office. I called and confirmed the address. I guess this was my hint to stop applying. FML

#17873678
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21884) - you deserved it (4099)

On 09/30/2011 at 8:23pm - work - by lyssamarie316 - United States (Florida)

Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML

#17862319
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25849) - you deserved it (2002)

On 09/29/2011 at 8:27am - misc - by btchzloveit (man) - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

#17854622
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31147) - you deserved it (5635)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

#17661103
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48010) - you deserved it (5741)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

#17657818
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34955) - you deserved it (7156)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:16am - misc - by Pizza-less - United States (Washington)

Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML

#17612047
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12123) - you deserved it (52555)

On 08/29/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by slut (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend decided to use glow-in-the-dark body paint to make an arrow on his stomach pointing down. I guess he thought he'd "spice up" the way he always demands a blow job before sex. FML

#17601968
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26779) - you deserved it (5783)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had an interview for an internship at an independent lawyer's office. Hoping to increase my chances of being hired, I dressed up sexily with a short skirt, high heels, and ample cleavage. Turns out his wife handles the interviews. FML

#17579225
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9128) - you deserved it (94754) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/25/2011 at 5:45pm - love - by santa_maria - Reunion

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

#17557500
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18816) - you deserved it (51053)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: