HelenKeller1

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Offline (the 07/10/2016 at 9:30pm)

HelenKeller1

95Fucked!

HelenKeller1HelenKeller1
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 August 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11296
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HelenKeller1 : Lindsey, 18, 😘💋 snapchat; meatloaf2012
I work at Red Lobster 💁 22 piercings & counting.

HelenKeller1's page activity

Visits<b>duduv2</b> - yesterday at 10:58am<b>Trollx</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 8:44pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 7:51pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 9:43am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 7:55pm<b>Chris_1414</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 3:53pm<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 3:54am<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 10:54pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 10:03pm<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 3:39am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 6:22pm<b>BarthConnor425</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 1:48am<b>WinterChild</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 4:19pm<b>Rodgerdodger17</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 6:31pm<b>majoroftheair</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 1:14am<b>madnessking</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 1:59pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 9:11am<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 12:49am

Fucked!<b>Rodgerdodger17</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 12:31am<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 6:25pm<b>Hyperkeratosin</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 2:10pm<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 2:05am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 3:08pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 11:03pm<b>Emanpirate68</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 7:39pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 3:32pm<b>davidaloco123</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 9:06am<b>laynethefirst</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 12:39pm<b>yungblkrich</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 7:12am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 11:24pm<b>marshm610</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 11:05pm<b>Magnoxidans</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 7:18pm<b>OmgimBored</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 3:36am<b>ChugTheBleach</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 9:47pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 2:44pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 5:26am

HelenKeller1's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of HelenKeller1's badges

HelenKeller1's favorite FMLs

Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML

by greatly disturbed / 03/07/2015 at 2:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

by actually just constipated.. and stupid / 03/04/2015 at 10:03am / Tunisia / Health

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

by teapotrevolt / 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Health

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I bought How To Train Your Dragon and the cashier started complaining how her kids keep demanding dragon stuff and that mine will start after they see the movie. I don't have any kids, and I didn't have the courage to tell her I was buying it for myself. FML

by MDoremis / 02/23/2015 at 11:58pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I competed in a Tae Kwon Do competition. I came third with my team in the sparring event. My mum said as a joke, "Were there only 3 teams?" There were. FML

by tom28402 / 02/22/2015 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

by heymacie / 02/19/2015 at 12:45am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for 'impeding a police officer'. My car was in my driveway. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2015 at 1:01am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone walking my way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make things worse, while walking past he said, "Get a fucking friend." FML

by TJFuentes / 02/11/2015 at 8:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2015 at 9:51am / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Love

Today, while correcting essays, I spilled ketchup on a student's paper. I managed to successfully turn it into a happy smiley face but when proudly looking at the result, noticed it was right next to the big "F" that I had graded it. FML

by tirf / 02/09/2015 at 5:58pm / Work

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm / Kids

Today, I experienced the horror of walking in on my best friend fondling his tits. Yes, "his". FML

by barf / 02/06/2015 at 6:00pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous

Today, I stole my brother's fuzzy slippers for the day as I usually do. Too bad he had been anticipating this and had left a mouse trap in one of them. FML

by toe / 02/02/2015 at 10:14pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, the girl I like finally replied to a text I sent a week ago. Her reply was: "Don't ever text me again, fuckface." FML

by FuckfaceSteve / 02/01/2015 at 9:59am / United Kingdom (Durham) / Love