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HelenKeller1

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HelenKeller1

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 August 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2483
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HelenKeller1 : Lindsey, 17, no, I'm not blind. message me! Most of my good friends are guys. gym is life kik;Dancerlove123 snapchat; meatloaf2012

HelenKeller1's page activity

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HelenKeller1's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

#17657818
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34338) - you deserved it (7080)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:16am - misc - by Pizza-less - United States (Washington)

Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML

#17612047
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12097) - you deserved it (52475)

On 08/29/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by slut (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend decided to use glow-in-the-dark body paint to make an arrow on his stomach pointing down. I guess he thought he'd "spice up" the way he always demands a blow job before sex. FML

#17601968
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26702) - you deserved it (5769)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had an interview for an internship at an independent lawyer's office. Hoping to increase my chances of being hired, I dressed up sexily with a short skirt, high heels, and ample cleavage. Turns out his wife handles the interviews. FML

#17579225
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9111) - you deserved it (94537) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/25/2011 at 5:45pm - love - by santa_maria - Reunion

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

#17557500
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18787) - you deserved it (50975)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML

#17516529
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41334) - you deserved it (2859)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by leftwardfoil (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML

#17478101
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16017) - you deserved it (19516)

On 08/15/2011 at 4:15am - misc - by Michelle - United States (Oregon)

Today, a girl came into my salon to permanently straighten her really long and curly hair. After several long hours, I went to the counter to charge her. She ran out faster than an Olympic runner. FML

#17473722
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36258) - you deserved it (2677)

On 08/14/2011 at 8:47pm - work - by theultimatesalonfail - United States

Today, I got my eyebrows waxed. The lady who waxed my eyebrows also decided to pop the big zit on my forehead. She charged me a dollar extra. FML

#17418334
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31379) - you deserved it (6616)

On 08/09/2011 at 1:35pm - misc - by pizzaface - United States

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53164) - you deserved it (3268)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53164) - you deserved it (3268)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

#17281952
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36912) - you deserved it (5547)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

#17129735
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33987) - you deserved it (16418)

On 07/16/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by McKenna - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30190) - you deserved it (88415)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML

#17030601
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9273) - you deserved it (79537)

On 07/08/2011 at 4:38pm - misc - by UhOh (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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