Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 August 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8207
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HelenKeller1 : Lindsey, 18, 😘💋 snapchat; meatloaf2012
I work at Red Lobster 💁

HelenKeller1's page activity

Visits<b>idkwyatt</b> - 2 hours ago<b>pred8885</b> - 3 hours ago<b>holymacabre</b> - 4 hours ago<b>Jayroc</b> - 5 hours ago<b>braver7315</b> - 14 hours ago<b>JMCJester69</b> - 14 hours ago<b>majoroftheair</b> - 14 hours ago<b>Toonice45</b> - yesterday at 12:57am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - yesterday at 7:04pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 12:58am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 5:19am<b>chr1sF</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 11:28pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 5:02pm<b>Alexxandre</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 2:08am<b>dakota133</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 11:33pm<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 7:51am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 6:44am<b>Mons</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 12:22am

Fucked!<b>pred8885</b> - just now<b>holymacabre</b> - just now<b>Jayroc</b> - 13 hours ago<b>JMCJester69</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 5:12am<b>Alexxandre</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 3:05pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 12:23am<b>Contiinuous</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 3:17pm<b>themoose12</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 11:25pm<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 12:45pm<b>dakota133</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 12:20am<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 11:03pm<b>oobergoober89</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 8:31pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 8:22am<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:23pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 8:11pm<b>Twill3422</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 9:00am<b>Martermelon</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 6:41am<b>demonte_jones</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 2:49am

HelenKeller1's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of HelenKeller1's badges

HelenKeller1's favorite FMLs

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (71461) - you deserved it (8394)

On 07/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML


I agree, your life sucks (62948) - you deserved it (11831)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, I was chatting online with several relatives, discussing our family reunion. Bored out of my mind, I clicked to rename the conversation to "Boring shit with almost dead people." I didn't know it'd rename it for everyone. FML

Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML


I agree, your life sucks (45116) - you deserved it (4596)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by dry spell (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML


I agree, your life sucks (54307) - you deserved it (12960)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by yeshehaspornaddiction (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I saw my former high school teacher at the mall. After a nice conversation, she mentioned that I "still dress like a slut." FML


I agree, your life sucks (42838) - you deserved it (20654)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my crush kissed me for the first time. However, my hair was falling into my face and getting in the way. No problem, I wear a wig so without thinking, I simply removed it. I don't think he'll kiss me again anytime soon. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50580) - you deserved it (19391)

On 06/30/2013 at 6:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I heard my husband telling his friend that I used to be a skank and was "easier than 1 plus 1" when we first met. I was still a virgin when we got married. FML

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47717) - you deserved it (3004)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by unfortunate (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52198) - you deserved it (3410)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by whipplewhip - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (57864) - you deserved it (6805)

On 06/29/2013 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54245) - you deserved it (3878)

On 06/28/2013 at 11:51am - misc - by me - United States

Today, I rode my motorcycle to an appointment and parked in the parking garage. When I got out, some ass had pushed my bike from the spot and had boxed it in between the wall and his car. Apparently, he felt he deserved the spot more than me and didn't care if I wanted to leave. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42046) - you deserved it (3718)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by MadMax - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt have the heart to tell her that they tasted better than the ones she usually makes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50992) - you deserved it (4236)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:05am - misc - by kittybad - United States

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML


I agree, your life sucks (73396) - you deserved it (6985)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: