Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

HelenKeller1

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

HelenKeller1

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 August 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2393
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HelenKeller1 : Lindsey, 17, no, I'm not blind. message me! Most of my good friends are guys. gym is life kik;Dancerlove123 snapchat; meatloaf2012

HelenKeller1's page activity

Visits<b>kkscott</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 9:22pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 8:34pm<b>Jonaahhhh</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 3:17pm<b>umerin</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 2:26am<b>iSativa</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 5:16pm<b>alejandroR82</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 3:15pm<b>SmallBean</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:12pm<b>cohnsonj</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:18am<b>gis0392</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:39pm<b>Dodopy</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:10pm<b>RoVeR_2000</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:04pm<b>Kirbyzx</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:04pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 9:53pm<b>DHoang22</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 7:42pm<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 4:12pm<b>BFons</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 2:34am<b>Prerogative</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 2:17am<b>Adrianna27</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:54am

HelenKeller1's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of HelenKeller1's badges

HelenKeller1's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

#18189501
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37281) - you deserved it (7465)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

#18150713
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41716) - you deserved it (3767)

On 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm - work - by EunJung - United States

Today, it's the third day of my dad's revenge after he snapped over me supposedly using the word "duh" in every other sentence. He got his hands on my old recorder and has been playing it loudly and out of tune outside my room when I try to do my homework. My mom thinks this is hilarious. FML

#18083556
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18262) - you deserved it (12416)

On 10/26/2011 at 8:24pm - misc - by krystal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in my room while my mom was talking to my uncle. I had my door open. She said "Yeah my son doesn't know I have his phone password. Girls nowadays are real sluts." FML

#18051184
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27029) - you deserved it (7954)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51014) - you deserved it (8032)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I brought my boyfriend over to meet the family. After several long moments of silence, one of my sisters burst out laughing, and asked, "Okay, who is this guy really?" FML

#17954133
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26073) - you deserved it (2601)

On 10/10/2011 at 7:16pm - love - by octoberrain - United States (Ohio)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Devastated, he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine was too much for me to handle, so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML

#17901380
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12251) - you deserved it (38738)

On 10/04/2011 at 1:22am - love - by backtosquareone - Asia/Pacific Region

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

#17880810
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39361) - you deserved it (5070)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Patricia - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

#17874410
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25651) - you deserved it (6087)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to an interview for a job at a company I've applied for numerous times this year. When I showed up at the interview room, I found it was a vacant office. I called and confirmed the address. I guess this was my hint to stop applying. FML

#17873678
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21274) - you deserved it (4033)

On 09/30/2011 at 8:23pm - work - by lyssamarie316 - United States (Florida)

Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML

#17862319
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25788) - you deserved it (1997)

On 09/29/2011 at 8:27am - misc - by btchzloveit (man) - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

#17854622
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31054) - you deserved it (5627)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

#17661103
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47912) - you deserved it (5737)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

#17657818
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34327) - you deserved it (7079)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:16am - misc - by Pizza-less - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: