Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

HelenKeller1

Search for a member

HelenKeller1

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 August 1997 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2177
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HelenKeller1 : Lindsey, 16, no, I'm not blind.  single  message me! Most of my good friends are guys. gym is life kik;Dancerlove123 snapchat; meatloaf2012

HelenKeller1's page activity

Visits<b>middleground</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Dodopy</b> - 14 hours ago<b>Deidara92</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - yesterday at 11:39am<b>lewisite</b> - yesterday at 7:27am<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:56pm<b>Garrison21</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:38pm<b>Prerogative</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 1:11am<b>jerzjay</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 11:21pm<b>itzjstnx</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:59pm<b>TheAsma</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 7:05pm<b>AnasMerchant</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 9:51am<b>VyronBuckingham</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 9:02am<b>natalea_rae</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 8:29pm<b>dizzybum</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:02am<b>TheKingKen</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:25am<b>doud</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:14pm<b>starbarbazar</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:02pm

HelenKeller1's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of HelenKeller1's badges

HelenKeller1's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

#18872810
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36179) - you deserved it (4411)

On 01/21/2012 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML

#18811640
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37823) - you deserved it (3400)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

#18807759
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38739) - you deserved it (3007)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to discipline my two year old son. Whenever I do this, he starts pointing and imitating me, and I can't help but laugh. This explains why he never listens to me. FML

#18735409
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8500) - you deserved it (32445)

On 01/07/2012 at 12:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I just finished nearly a year of muscle-building in order to impress my crush. Turns out she doesn't date fit guys, because "they're all jerks". FML

#18601417
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24317) - you deserved it (15733)

On 12/24/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by Nowajerk (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

#18490582
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8959) - you deserved it (40850)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

#18433166
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41725) - you deserved it (10830)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I sent the texts "I love and miss you babe;)." and "Shit wrong person." to my ex just so he would think I have a life. FML

#18234157
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16957) - you deserved it (55281)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:16am - love - by random person - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

#18189501
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37261) - you deserved it (7464)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

#18150713
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41434) - you deserved it (3745)

On 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm - work - by EunJung - United States

Today, it's the third day of my dad's revenge after he snapped over me supposedly using the word "duh" in every other sentence. He got his hands on my old recorder and has been playing it loudly and out of tune outside my room when I try to do my homework. My mom thinks this is hilarious. FML

#18083556
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18244) - you deserved it (12410)

On 10/26/2011 at 8:24pm - misc - by krystal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in my room while my mom was talking to my uncle. I had my door open. She said "Yeah my son doesn't know I have his phone password. Girls nowadays are real sluts." FML

#18051184
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26999) - you deserved it (7950)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50711) - you deserved it (7984)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I brought my boyfriend over to meet the family. After several long moments of silence, one of my sisters burst out laughing, and asked, "Okay, who is this guy really?" FML

#17954133
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26048) - you deserved it (2597)

On 10/10/2011 at 7:16pm - love - by octoberrain - United States (Ohio)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Devastated, he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine was too much for me to handle, so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML

#17901380
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12245) - you deserved it (38720)

On 10/04/2011 at 1:22am - love - by backtosquareone - Asia/Pacific Region



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: