HelenKeller1

Search for a member

Offline (the 06/09/2016 at 5:50pm)

HelenKeller1

91Fucked!

HelenKeller1HelenKeller1
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 August 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10433
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HelenKeller1 : Lindsey, 18, 😘💋 snapchat; meatloaf2012
I work at Red Lobster 💁 22 piercings & counting.

HelenKeller1's page activity

Visits<b>MoDDbest</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 1:43pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 9:08am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 1:50pm<b>KeatonHanson</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 11:11pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 5:28pm<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 3:46pm<b>infernno</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 11:23pm<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 8:19pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 5:03pm<b>Mons</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 3:31pm<b>Emanpirate68</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 1:39pm<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 6:29am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 11:44am<b>WinterChild</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 12:18pm<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 4:40pm<b>laynethefirst</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 9:02am<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 2:39pm<b>davidaloco123</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 3:06am

Fucked!<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 3:08pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 11:03pm<b>Emanpirate68</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 7:39pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 3:32pm<b>davidaloco123</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 9:06am<b>laynethefirst</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 12:39pm<b>yungblkrich</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 7:12am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 11:24pm<b>marshm610</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 11:05pm<b>Magnoxidans</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 7:18pm<b>OmgimBored</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 3:36am<b>ChugTheBleach</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 9:47pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 2:44pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 5:26am<b>fastman19</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 12:50pm<b>DeadxManxWalking</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 4:27pm<b>rwal0912</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 3:12pm<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 9:13am

HelenKeller1's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of HelenKeller1's badges

HelenKeller1's favorite FMLs

Today, I got fired, apparently for being racist to black people. When I told my boyfriend, he couldn't stop laughing. He's black. FML

by Razz / 07/15/2015 at 6:02pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, after working a double shift, I got home to total pandemonium. My dogs had crapped all over the house, my kitchen was soaking wet, etc. My mother, who just moved in with me, was sitting on the couch, saying she had no idea what happened. FML

by ArtemisRwill / 07/14/2015 at 4:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while at my shitty, minimum wage job at McDonalds, a guy walked out of the bathroom. He said "Good luck in there." worriedly, then left. I don't know if it was his handiwork, but it looked like a shit grenade had detonated. It was even on the walls. FML

by don't get paid enough for this / 07/10/2015 at 10:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I told my coworker who I have been crushing on for a while, that I really enjoyed our time last night. I immediately realized that the time we spent last night was in my sex dream. FML

by who_cares / 07/09/2015 at 7:20am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath came into my line with some groceries. At some point while bagging her groceries, her wrinkled breast slipped out of her shirt. She didn't even notice. I wish to fuck I could unsee this. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2015 at 2:15am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, the new girl told me that a guy at the back of the class was being creepy. I looked over and saw him picking his nose and flinging boogers at the girls sitting in the front. That guy is my boyfriend. FML

by sweetsixteenyay / 06/25/2015 at 3:16pm / United Kingdom (Caerphilly) / Miscellaneous

Today, as my mom was getting ready for a date, I told her that I think it's too early for her to date, since she divorced my dad only a week ago. She then said, "Don't worry, I'm only in it for sex." FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my creepy 12-year-old neighbour stood on his trampoline, looked over my fence and started waving a large net around, chanting my dog's name. Now I'm scared to let my dog outside alone. FML

by Wonderful_0 / 06/23/2015 at 1:58pm / United Kingdom (Luton) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at my work in a call centre, a man called up on a very quiet line to report a car accident on his father's behalf because his father was deaf. I asked him to ask his dad if he was OK after the accident. I'd misheard him and he had said "dead", not "deaf". He started crying. FML

by Iamsosorry / 06/22/2015 at 7:35am / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Work

Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML

by RecentCollegeGrad / 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm / Kids

Today, my parents bought my 11-year-old brother a MacBook for my birthday. FML

by thanks for the $5 gift voucher / 06/13/2015 at 12:34pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I arrived at the salon to get my hair done for prom. The lady at the front desk insisted I didn't have an appointment. After looking back on my recent calls, it turned out I called the wrong number and whatever asshole was on the other line played along. FML

by Badhairday / 06/11/2015 at 7:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

by lehonX9 / 06/06/2015 at 5:11am / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Miscellaneous

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML

by shmoooopie / 05/28/2015 at 11:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my dad stood by and nodded in agreement as my sister told me that my clinical depression is "getting REALLY old." FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2015 at 9:39am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Health