Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

HelenKeller1

Offline (yesterday at 12:41am) | Search for a member

HelenKeller1

33Fucked!

HelenKeller1HelenKeller1
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 August 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 7499
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HelenKeller1 : Lindsey, 17, 😘💋 snapchat; meatloaf2012

HelenKeller1's page activity

Visits<b>mclint_</b> - 3 hours ago<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 4:22pm<b>marktimemark</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 7:46pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 12:42pm<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 12:56am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 1:36am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 2:54am<b>PaulChristie</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:18pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 1:06am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 5:08am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 2:10pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 1:05am<b>JustAnotherJose2</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 6:04pm<b>nomrana</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 1:16am<b>moron011</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 10:17pm<b>Twill3422</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:12pm<b>mhb210</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 8:10pm<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 12:07am

Fucked!<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:23pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 8:11pm<b>Twill3422</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 9:00am<b>Martermelon</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 6:41am<b>demonte_jones</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 2:49am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:26pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 1:55pm<b>TheDog6</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 4:18am<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 1:17am<b>Joshery</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 7:50pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 5:13am<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 7:32pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 3:37am<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 7:21am<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 11:01pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 2:39pm<b>allred1997</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 8:30am<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 11:15pm

HelenKeller1's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of HelenKeller1's badges

HelenKeller1's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52544) - you deserved it (11427)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

#20863945
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43049) - you deserved it (6498)

On 09/02/2013 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

#20847854
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45162) - you deserved it (3183)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

#20840692
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49850) - you deserved it (20482)

On 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by JacksWag4 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

#20837021
190 comments

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

#20830409
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24161) - you deserved it (46578)

On 08/10/2013 at 6:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML

#20815079
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45430) - you deserved it (5358)

On 08/01/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by fuckoffgran (woman) - Ireland

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

#20814697
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59262) - you deserved it (10632)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by father of the year - United States

Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML

#20813928
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30930) - you deserved it (44821)

On 07/31/2013 at 6:49pm - misc - by psychic parents, how do they work? :( (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

#20807595
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62758) - you deserved it (8930)

On 07/28/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by microlovin (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about how I'm jealous of her best guy friend always hanging around her. She responded by saying, "Wait, I thought you knew I was dating him too?" FML

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML

#20804466
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54287) - you deserved it (17653)

On 07/26/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my sister backed out of my wedding because it was becoming too much about me. After I begged her to reconsider, I had no choice but to pick a new bridesmaid. When my new bridesmaid posted on Facebook how excited she was, my sister commented, "See, you made HER feel special." FML

#20802578
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52701) - you deserved it (3773)

On 07/25/2013 at 6:55am - misc - by chumpslolo - United States (Ohio)

Today, I spontaneously got my ear pierced. By spontaneously, I mean my 12-year-old sister stabbed one of her earrings into my ear while I was sleeping. She claimed the freckle on my earlobe looks "exactly the same" as the hole from her ear piercing. FML

#20801253
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46777) - you deserved it (3131)

On 07/24/2013 at 2:03pm - kids - by ouch - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: