Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

HelenKeller1

Search for a member

HelenKeller1
  • Town/Country : PA, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 August 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 1244
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HelenKeller1 : Lindsey, 16, i run & work out. Message meee. I love meeting new people (ill always answer), and im always out with friends. im pretty much a guy. most of my good friends are guys as well. :) kik;Dancerlove123 snapchat; meatloaf2012

HelenKeller1's last visitors

k_gilsandy345the_rude_dudeomfgorlaithpacmanmanHowieDoItMisterCrossgrogers311doubledutchysoccerforlife_27bomzo

HelenKeller1's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of HelenKeller1's badges

HelenKeller1's favorite FMLs

Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML

#19470748
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6944) - you deserved it (29625)

On 04/15/2012 at 2:49am - love - by needurlove (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

#19387601
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15718) - you deserved it (28881)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:03am - love - by Jeff make - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

#19269452
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31308) - you deserved it (1450)

On 03/13/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by Rynne S. - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

#19211804
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38563) - you deserved it (26630)

On 03/04/2012 at 12:02am - love - by Autocorrected (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, I had to use antiperspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML

#19152897
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20039) - you deserved it (4658)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:05am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I had to leave the movie theater early because I couldn't fit in the chairs. I guess I'll see it when it comes out on DVD. FML

#19118368
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13782) - you deserved it (49682)

On 02/19/2012 at 10:00pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was talking to a guy I really liked, hoping that he would ask me out. Eventually he asked for my number. I was so excited that I couldn't remember it. FML

#19091459
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18161) - you deserved it (5784)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

#19042299
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6829) - you deserved it (48510)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States

Today, I have to follow through with the bet I lost over the Super Bowl game. I don't have a problem running a lap nude around my block, but the cops in the police station right across from my house probably will. FML

#19017961
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8523) - you deserved it (28930)

On 02/07/2012 at 12:58pm - misc - by MillyMan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

#18872810
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31124) - you deserved it (3886)

On 01/21/2012 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML

#18811640
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36109) - you deserved it (3218)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

#18807759
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36716) - you deserved it (2840)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to discipline my two year old son. Whenever I do this, he starts pointing and imitating me, and I can't help but laugh. This explains why he never listens to me. FML

#18735409
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7447) - you deserved it (29534)

On 01/07/2012 at 12:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I just finished nearly a year of muscle-building in order to impress my crush. Turns out she doesn't date fit guys, because "they're all jerks". FML

#18601417
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22891) - you deserved it (15247)

On 12/24/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by Nowajerk (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

#18490582
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8441) - you deserved it (39186)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: