HelenKeller1

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HelenKeller1

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HelenKeller1HelenKeller1
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 August 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9839
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HelenKeller1 : Lindsey, 18, 😘💋 snapchat; meatloaf2012
I work at Red Lobster 💁 22 piercings & counting.

HelenKeller1's page activity

Visits<b>PercyD1456</b> - yesterday at 10:28pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 11:25am<b>laynethefirst</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 1:56pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 1:20pm<b>infernno</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 1:22am<b>yungblkrich</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 4:55pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 11:01am<b>samp_squad_23</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 11:38pm<b>bbackensto</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 2:09pm<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 12:50am<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 10:43pm<b>Magnoxidans</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 7:04am<b>Anthonymm2</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 6:20pm<b>marshm610</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 9:57pm<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 3:16am<b>majoroftheair</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 11:18pm<b>bigwell</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 7:28am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 1:26am

Fucked!<b>laynethefirst</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 12:39pm<b>yungblkrich</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 7:12am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 11:24pm<b>marshm610</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 11:05pm<b>Magnoxidans</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 7:18pm<b>OmgimBored</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 3:36am<b>ChugTheBleach</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 9:47pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 2:44pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 5:26am<b>fastman19</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 12:50pm<b>DeadxManxWalking</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 4:27pm<b>rwal0912</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 3:12pm<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 9:13am<b>Roostermann25</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 6:53pm<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 10:05pm<b>infernno</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 7:05am<b>papa_vas</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 3:06am<b>majoroftheair</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 11:44pm

HelenKeller1's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of HelenKeller1's badges

HelenKeller1's favorite FMLs

Today, as my mom was getting ready for a date, I told her that I think it's too early for her to date, since she divorced my dad only a week ago. She then said, "Don't worry, I'm only in it for sex." FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my creepy 12-year-old neighbour stood on his trampoline, looked over my fence and started waving a large net around, chanting my dog's name. Now I'm scared to let my dog outside alone. FML

by Wonderful_0 / 06/23/2015 at 1:58pm / United Kingdom (Luton) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at my work in a call centre, a man called up on a very quiet line to report a car accident on his father's behalf because his father was deaf. I asked him to ask his dad if he was OK after the accident. I'd misheard him and he had said "dead", not "deaf". He started crying. FML

by Iamsosorry / 06/22/2015 at 7:35am / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Work

Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML

by RecentCollegeGrad / 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm / Kids

Today, my parents bought my 11-year-old brother a MacBook for my birthday. FML

by thanks for the $5 gift voucher / 06/13/2015 at 12:34pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I arrived at the salon to get my hair done for prom. The lady at the front desk insisted I didn't have an appointment. After looking back on my recent calls, it turned out I called the wrong number and whatever asshole was on the other line played along. FML

by Badhairday / 06/11/2015 at 7:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

by lehonX9 / 06/06/2015 at 5:11am / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Miscellaneous

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML

by shmoooopie / 05/28/2015 at 11:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my dad stood by and nodded in agreement as my sister told me that my clinical depression is "getting REALLY old." FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2015 at 9:39am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Health

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML

by homo fuckofftus / 05/22/2015 at 1:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

by -_- / 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend's mum publicly shamed him on Facebook after she caught him having sex under her roof today. Everyone thought it was hilarious, except me. Not because I'm ashamed, but because I'm over 300 miles away right now. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2015 at 8:16am / United Kingdom (York) / Love

Today, I found out that maggots can live inside of a saxophone. FML

by McWhopper / 05/08/2015 at 1:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML

by dadoftheyear / 05/06/2015 at 11:27pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML

by baby_trex_arms / 05/05/2015 at 11:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy