Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

HelenKeller1

Offline (13 hours ago) | Search for a member

HelenKeller1

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 August 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2384
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HelenKeller1 : Lindsey, 16, no, I'm not blind. message me! Most of my good friends are guys. gym is life kik;Dancerlove123 snapchat; meatloaf2012

HelenKeller1's page activity

Visits<b>kkscott</b> - yesterday at 9:22pm<b>Cherryta</b> - yesterday at 8:34pm<b>Jonaahhhh</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 3:17pm<b>umerin</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 2:26am<b>iSativa</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 5:16pm<b>alejandroR82</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 3:15pm<b>SmallBean</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:12pm<b>cohnsonj</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:18am<b>gis0392</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:39pm<b>Dodopy</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:10pm<b>RoVeR_2000</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:04pm<b>Kirbyzx</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:04pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 9:53pm<b>DHoang22</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 7:42pm<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 4:12pm<b>BFons</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 2:34am<b>Prerogative</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 2:17am<b>Adrianna27</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:54am

HelenKeller1's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of HelenKeller1's badges

HelenKeller1's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

#21238932
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42077) - you deserved it (6903)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by gag reflex - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML

#21237592
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14192) - you deserved it (67269)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by oops - United States (California)

Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML

#21237096
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32524) - you deserved it (13269)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:46pm - health - by fatty (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36148) - you deserved it (21983)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46606) - you deserved it (18352)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML

#21231691
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26051) - you deserved it (37416)

On 08/07/2014 at 11:36am - health - by Dancing King (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48142) - you deserved it (20901)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55729) - you deserved it (7145)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that when a girl asks what your plans are for Valentine's Day and you say "nothing" and she responds with, "Oh, I don't have any plans either", it means she wants you to take her out. Took me three months to figure that out. FML

#21145130
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33932) - you deserved it (53083)

On 05/19/2014 at 1:15pm - love - by clueless - United States (California)

Today, I received yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applied to. After crying for a week about how lousy I felt, my older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML

#21140332
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66791) - you deserved it (4943)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:40am - misc - by livingamongtheflowers - United States

Today, I took a pregnancy test because I'd missed a few periods, gained weight, and been moody. Turns out I'm just fat and moody. FML

#21139495
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45610) - you deserved it (10261)

On 05/14/2014 at 9:12am - health - by thanks4support - United States (Ohio)

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

#21138987
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22277) - you deserved it (64293)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm - health - by ShutTheFuCupcake (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I nervously flirted with a very cute guy. Being a little overweight, I rarely think cute guys will go for me. This line of thinking was yet again correct when he casually pulled his sleeve up revealing a tattoo of a pinup girl with a "NO FAT CHICKS" sign below it. FML

#21138042
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55137) - you deserved it (7046)

On 05/12/2014 at 7:49pm - love - by nofatchicks (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML

#21067978
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42234) - you deserved it (7464)

On 02/21/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I opened up a snapchat from my best friend. I received a full and detailed view of her and her boyfriend having sex. All I wanted to know was how her Valentine's Day dinner went. FML

#21060866
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49363) - you deserved it (8612)

On 02/14/2014 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by waymoreiwanted (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: