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HedgeSquid

Offline (the 12/19/2014 at 2:03pm) | Search for a member

HedgeSquid

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 September 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1459
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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HedgeSquid's page activity

Visits<b>TaiReiSi</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 8:03am<b>Mr_Brightside209</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 1:18pm<b>michaelaranda</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 6:30pm

HedgeSquid's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of HedgeSquid's badges

HedgeSquid's favorite FMLs

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31686) - you deserved it (6235)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, I asked my spouse to help me apply some hemorrhoid relief cream, since I couldn't see what was going on down there clearly. Next time, I hope I'll remember if I'm still in a conference call with my online classmates so they don't witness the whole thing again. FML

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

#21306286
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38126) - you deserved it (3148)

On 11/26/2014 at 3:45pm - misc - by void bowels() { cry(); } (man) - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

Today, I frantically told my parents that my bank account had no money. Turns out, they took the $1,600 I had saved up from a summer job and invested it in penny-stocks. I was grounded because they were "doing it for the family," and I'm being selfish. They also had lost it all in a matter of days. FML

#21306100
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38539) - you deserved it (2392)

On 11/26/2014 at 9:13am - money - by poor man - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent over $2,000 on a big flatscreen TV. My dad insisted I let him mount it on the wall instead of paying someone to do it. All seemed fine, until the TV came loose and smashed onto the floor. My dad refuses to accept responsibility, and says I should've had a professional install it instead. FML

#21293581
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40351) - you deserved it (6491)

On 11/06/2014 at 6:37pm - money - by Anonymou$ (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36331) - you deserved it (2415)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

#21290313
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35452) - you deserved it (3142)

On 11/02/2014 at 6:28am - health - by smellyhair - United Kingdom

Today, trying to be a good role model for the kids behind me, I stopped and thoroughly checked both sides of the road before crossing. I still managed to get hit by a car. FML

#21287500
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34325) - you deserved it (6628)

On 10/29/2014 at 4:19am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

#21286497
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27683) - you deserved it (11582)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML

#21285216
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31356) - you deserved it (2373)

On 10/25/2014 at 8:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML

#21282365
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35676) - you deserved it (3135)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by youngboob (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML

#21280399
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33199) - you deserved it (6550)

On 10/18/2014 at 10:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

#21279992
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28971) - you deserved it (3072)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:30pm - kids - by KayyElOh94 - United States

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

#21275111
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32644) - you deserved it (19203)

On 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting a taxi from his place. FML

#21273346
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38677) - you deserved it (3086)

On 10/08/2014 at 5:01am - misc - by rockytrolley - Cyprus



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