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HedgeSquid

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HedgeSquid

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 September 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 759
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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HedgeSquid's page activity

Visits<b>TaiReiSi</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 8:03am<b>Mr_Brightside209</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 1:18pm<b>michaelaranda</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 6:30pm

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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HedgeSquid's favorite FMLs

Today, I got yelled, screamed, and cursed at by a customer until I was reduced to tears. This was all because I double-checked to make sure she wanted large fries. FML

#21266131
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31169) - you deserved it (2847)

On 09/27/2014 at 12:22am - work - by heretoserve (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47466) - you deserved it (4423)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39822) - you deserved it (4300)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while fishing my remote out from behind the couch, I found my fiancé's stash of old toenails. FML

#21257075
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33486) - you deserved it (2944)

On 09/12/2014 at 6:27pm - misc - by jjhach (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41515) - you deserved it (11618)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32445) - you deserved it (7541)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35808) - you deserved it (34551)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML

#21244424
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36568) - you deserved it (12396)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:31pm - work - by Alisterine - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML

#21243243
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35717) - you deserved it (2911)

On 08/22/2014 at 4:26pm - misc - by leastitwasntsurpriseanal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

#21243022
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40389) - you deserved it (4648)

On 08/22/2014 at 8:05am - work - by haileelouxxx (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML

#21242576
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37307) - you deserved it (4680)

On 08/21/2014 at 4:16pm - work - by jalisc512 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44958) - you deserved it (7569)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

#21241796
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39480) - you deserved it (2966)

On 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by sonofaneuroticwench (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37077) - you deserved it (10078)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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