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HedgeSquid

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HedgeSquid

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 September 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3811
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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HedgeSquid's page activity

Visits<b>iT_Cereal</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 5:54am<b>perfect_heart13</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 5:31pm<b>salad354</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 7:11pm<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 9:14am<b>twitwi2000</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 12:12am<b>michaelaranda</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 3:14am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:02am<b>TaiReiSi</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 1:54pm<b>Mr_Brightside209</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 1:18pm

HedgeSquid's FML badges

Inception

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Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of HedgeSquid's badges

HedgeSquid's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML

#21459109
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18442) - you deserved it (7074)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:55pm - misc - by FishFlingingMonkey (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, a customer at the restaurant where I work reduced me to tears by screaming at me, as I nearly knocked out his 2-year-old with the kitchen door, after he let the little boy play on the floor behind it. Apparently, it's my fault I can't see through solid wood. FML

#21440548
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25281) - you deserved it (1505)

On 07/12/2015 at 3:39pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to several young children why asking the new blind girl to play hide and seek with them is inappropriate. FML

#21439546
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25688) - you deserved it (2218)

On 07/10/2015 at 12:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

Today, I orgasmed in front of someone for the first time. Too bad it was my dad who didn't knock before coming in. FML

#21399489
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36356) - you deserved it (5993)

On 04/25/2015 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

#21397883
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44417) - you deserved it (3317)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, a few weeks after teaching my dog to fetch my phone and drop it in my lap, he decided to do it spontaneously. Too bad I was in the bath at the time. There goes a $300 phone. FML

#21394097
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27179) - you deserved it (19821)

On 04/15/2015 at 1:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was talking with my mother. As we went to say goodbye, she said "I love you". Out of habit of saying I love you to my girlfriend, I said, "Love you too babe". FML

Today, I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day, so my fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of my shift, the manager told me I couldn't take them home because they were donated and therefore they were "company property." FML

#21384262
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28980) - you deserved it (1992)

On 03/30/2015 at 4:46pm - work - by bingalingading (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

#21384025
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39492) - you deserved it (3520)

On 03/30/2015 at 6:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I turned in my homework. Too bad I accidentally handed in the printed answer sheet I found online to copy from. FML

#21377510
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (129) - you deserved it (45486)

On 03/19/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by copycat - United States (California)

Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone call. They were impressed with me. That's when my son decided to throw a tantrum asking for food. After some silence, the caller told me they were looking for someone who wasn't juggling little kids at home and hung up. My son is 20. FML

#21377225
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34636) - you deserved it (5477)

On 03/18/2015 at 5:26pm - kids - by Stressed Mother (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

#21374736
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34318) - you deserved it (12540)

On 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up this morning in a panic. Last night, I heard scratching at my door, but I thought it was just my cat and went back to sleep. This morning, it hit me that my cat is 600 miles away living with my mom in Iowa. I'm terrified to even sleep now. FML

#21370427
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133) - you deserved it (2597)

On 03/08/2015 at 10:41am - animals - by no salt, no burning, just STFU (man) - United States



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