Heaven121313

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Heaven121313

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 December 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 955
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Heaven121313 : idekhowigothere

Heaven121313's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 11:12am<b>hodgepodge365</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 6:21pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 1:37pm<b>maxymum7</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 2:04pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 4:29pm<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:08am<b>ironfey</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 9:58am<b>TheManInWhiteXx</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 12:00am<b>JuzReading</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 8:31pm<b>caseyxnguyen</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 5:55am<b>aine500</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 3:30am<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 5:51pm<b>katertot10</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 12:35pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 3:42pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 6:17am<b>coraline123c</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 4:56pm<b>LaurenLo</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 7:54pm

Heaven121313's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Heaven121313's badges

Heaven121313's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. 5ML

by DJ / 01/24/2014 at 8:34pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my little brother breathing heavily and asked him what he was doing. He looked at me intensely and said "Breathing in all the oxygen so you can't have any and die." 5ML

by SirDirtyRedD / 01/24/2014 at 8:03pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

by rollergirl13 / 01/11/2014 at 12:55am / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, I was using the bathroom at McDonald's when my wallet fell out of my pocket. A lady reached into my stall and tried to grab it. FML

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

by -___- / 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML

by Parenting... / 08/27/2013 at 12:36am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML

by never thought I'd say that / 08/22/2013 at 3:05pm / Norway (Rogaland) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

by that's methed up, darling / 08/16/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing / 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my mom asked me, once again, if my girlfriend of almost a year is just a cover up for being gay. FML

by Zanovitch / 08/13/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

by Oh-Shit! / 08/10/2013 at 11:23am / United States / Health

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids