Heather_x0x0

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Heather_x0x0

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2067
  • Number of comments : 124
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Heather_x0x0's page activity

Visits<b>sonasonic</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 3:06pm<b>viggo375</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 2:10am<b>jesswoo</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 8:04pm<b>Gladeryn</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:02pm<b>Kjaerlighet</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 2:59am<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 12:33am<b>rissamarie</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 4:42pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 10:46am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 10:15pm<b>whoopydoodah</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 7:45pm<b>gqlmno</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:38pm<b>MrsJoHood</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 4:40am<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 9:26pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 11:58am<b>tiggerlover100</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 11:10pm<b>seetei</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 12:33am<b>Moklon</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 11:11am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 5:53pm

Heather_x0x0's FML badges

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

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Heather_x0x0's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying out for my school's athletics team. As I reached the finish line for the 100m sprint, there was so much momentum I couldn't stop. I ended up running into a wall. FML

by uncoretard / 03/11/2011 at 9:33am / Health

Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML

by Anonymous / 03/08/2011 at 8:15pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I went snowboarding and fell backwards, hitting my head on a patch of ice. When I got home, I told my brother I thought I might have a concussion. He told me I should be a man and suck it, swiftly smacking my head, causing me to pass out. FML

by milkndstufff / 03/06/2011 at 7:50pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I informed my grandparents of my upcoming graduation from college. My grandma looked at me with tears in her eyes, and told me how proud she was that I was able to make it so far in spite of being autistic. I am not, nor have I ever been autistic. FML

by Acesup111 / 03/02/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

by Anon. / 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, an old lady hit me with her car. After which she says, "Oh! Not Again!" FML

by roadkill / 02/28/2011 at 10:50am / United States / Transportation

Today, I lost a glove while snowboarding. I got off my board to find it, when a bunch of kids took the opportunity to kick my snowboard down the hill, while yelling "Run, Forrest, run!" as I frantically chased after it. FML

by gumpy / 02/25/2011 at 3:37pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids

Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML

by justmyluck? / 02/17/2011 at 10:02pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

by catlady1989 / 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy