HeatherFox

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HeatherFox

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 315
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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HeatherFox's FML badges

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HeatherFox's favorite FMLs

Today, I was T-boned while going through an intersection. The guy who hit me accused me of not using my turn signal. I was going straight. FML

by mdp624 / 08/16/2012 at 8:10am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off, and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML

Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML

by Todd / 08/14/2012 at 12:14pm / United States / Health

Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML

by FMLMom / 08/08/2012 at 4:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 7:31pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, my cousin is coming home after his honeymoon. His gift to his new wife was a puppy, which I said I would take care of while they went away. I sneezed last week and scared the puppy. She ran off. This was ten days ago, and I still haven't found the dog. FML

by whymegirl / 07/22/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

by nobrony / 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I got a new cell phone. I was texting pictures from my old phone to my new one, including several dirty ones, when I noticed I wasn't receiving any of them on the new phone. I was texting the wrong number. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2009 at 7:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had an elaborate plan to ask this girl to Prom, and it was going to take a few minutes to set up. I asked my friend to distract her. He decided to distract her by asking her to Prom. She said "Yes". FML

by Kaeyne / 03/24/2009 at 11:41am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

by gentileman / 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy