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HazardousMonster

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HazardousMonster
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 September 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 537
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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HazardousMonster's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML

#15308430
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29587) - you deserved it (8528)

On 03/14/2011 at 2:31pm - misc - by lonelynessinCA (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend dumped me was because his parents don't like the fact that I go to a prestigious university. However, they're completely accepting of the drunken slob who's dating their daughter. FML

#15294376
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31216) - you deserved it (3103)

On 03/13/2011 at 3:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend dumped me was because his parents don't like the fact that I go to a prestigious university. However, they're completely accepting of the drunken slob who's dating their daughter. FML

#15294376
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31216) - you deserved it (3103)

On 03/13/2011 at 3:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I went to the doctor for an infection from where a cat bit me while I was sleeping. Where that cat came from and how it got into my bedroom I will never know. FML

#15291539
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26692) - you deserved it (2177)

On 03/13/2011 at 9:19am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my brand new car. FML

#15266728
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22697) - you deserved it (4009)

On 03/10/2011 at 8:44pm - misc - by JulieClaire -

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

#15264127
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28094) - you deserved it (2813)

On 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm - love - by dumped (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see who's dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML

#15260051
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34306) - you deserved it (3057)

On 03/10/2011 at 6:09am - animals - by Tom -

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year old son comes in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML

#14860597
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14176) - you deserved it (51425)

On 02/06/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

#14738365
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42048) - you deserved it (5198)

On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28324) - you deserved it (18978) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

#14333152
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35236) - you deserved it (7057)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26077) - you deserved it (2894)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML

#14157064
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9800) - you deserved it (18169)

On 12/10/2010 at 7:12pm - misc - by elliekilroy (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52464) - you deserved it (9842)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

#13986029
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9170) - you deserved it (19853)

On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States



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