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HaygoodLookin's favorite FMLs
by Andrew / 07/14/2015 at 1:59pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
by RS / 03/17/2015 at 12:25pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/07/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my son was at a birthday party. After eating a plate of cake, he loudly asked the birthday boy's mum if he could have sloppy seconds. I don't know where he heard that phrase, but the other kids' parents shot me very dirty looks. FML
by Anonymous / 03/07/2015 at 11:59am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML
by mellielynnemily / 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 09/27/2014 at 7:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by haileelouxxx / 08/22/2014 at 8:05am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML
by Anonymous / 07/18/2014 at 7:06pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Ow / 04/18/2014 at 7:09am / United States (Arizona) / Health
by leeceetaylor99 / 07/15/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
by FenRackety / 05/10/2013 at 8:37am / Canada / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
by Keastwood013 / 01/18/2013 at 10:25am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML
by IndianAngel96 / 10/29/2012 at 6:39pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…