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Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32106) - you deserved it (3158)
On 08/27/2010 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35585) - you deserved it (3190)
On 08/16/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, my sister got caught cheating on her boyfriend. She was cheating on him with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37078) - you deserved it (2364)
On 08/15/2010 at 7:39am - intimacy - by bbbblt - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19227) - you deserved it (12913)
On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I discovered that my mom is having an affair... with her cousin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44278) - you deserved it (2836)
On 08/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Drew - United States (Texas)
Today, my best friend who I've known since high school is getting married. I'm supposed to give a toast during the reception about how great the bride and groom are. I've been sleeping with the groom for the past 7 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6737) - you deserved it (79779)
On 08/03/2010 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Emily (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was "So does yours." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17600) - you deserved it (20003)
On 07/28/2010 at 7:20am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19651) - you deserved it (35892)
On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)
Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10787) - you deserved it (39945)
On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend won't have sex with me. Why? Because my mii knocked out her mii in Wii boxing. It wouldn't be as bad if she wasn't in one player mode. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25153) - you deserved it (3216)
On 07/15/2010 at 9:12pm - intimacy - by knock_out (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20523) - you deserved it (28943)
On 07/13/2010 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by allalone - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend and I thought it'd be hot to have it off on the golf course once it was dark. Who would've thought that sprinklers start up once it's pitch dark. I got a lot wetter than I thought I would. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10435) - you deserved it (26011)
On 07/13/2010 at 4:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, my boyfriend looked at me and suggestively told me to take a shower. He's leaving for two days so I humored him, thinking he wanted to do it in the shower. I waited for 20 minutes before he knocked on the door, telling me he needed to shower as well. He just wanted me to take a shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12750) - you deserved it (16855)
On 07/12/2010 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, while drinking at a bar with my girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend who I've been seeing on the side walked straight up to her, introducing herself as "the ex-girlfriend that he's been sleeping with for the past 3 months." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10841) - you deserved it (125205)
On 07/02/2010 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Tim (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend's mother screamed at me for half an hour, calling me a slut because she found a black lacy thong in my boyfriend's bed. I didn't have the heart to tell her it wasn't mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49667) - you deserved it (5500)
On 07/01/2010 at 9:07pm - intimacy - by slut (woman) - United States (Oregon)
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