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HatesLifeAlot

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HatesLifeAlot
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  • Number of visits : 640
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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HatesLifeAlot's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML

#2697150
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69260) - you deserved it (5381)

On 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm - intimacy - by BW (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, in an effort to seduce my husband, I laid in bed caressing myself. He walked in, looked at me, and said "is the ground beef in the freezer still good?" and when I answered "yes," he turned and walked out of the room. FML

#2693360
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48126) - you deserved it (5626)

On 06/07/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by szinna - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML

#2686671
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13030) - you deserved it (81950)

On 06/07/2009 at 9:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Free State)

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

#2681681
367 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39620) - you deserved it (97813)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:02am - love - by dawg3360 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, as a volunteer at the local daycare, I was with 3 and 4 year olds. They thought it would be funny to trip me and then jump on my back. I hit my elbow hard on the ground. A bunch of pre-schoolers beat me up. FML

#2670105
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35578) - you deserved it (5279)

On 06/06/2009 at 7:46pm - kids - by biotch - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was babysitting a little boy. I opened up a new bottle of bubbles and it was all goopy and gross so I said "Eww!". The boy then asks, "What's "ew" mean?". I replied with, "Something gross and yucky". Then he pointed at my face and say "Ew! Ew! Ewwww!". FML

#2658966
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48604) - you deserved it (7875)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:23pm - kids - by EwFace (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML

#2656270
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41700) - you deserved it (10727)

On 06/06/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by imfromtexas02 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a computer. When I opened it, I found out that my dad had made himself the administrator. He made it so everything shut off after 11 o'clock, and made it so I couldn't download anything without his password. FML

#2655831
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55306) - you deserved it (6221)

On 06/06/2009 at 9:17am - misc - by graduate - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I bought my cat a nice big bag of expensive anti-hairball catfood, so she'd stop puking hairballs on my things. After eating it, she started running around wildly, howling and projectile vomiting on EVERYTHING. FML

#2655825
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42834) - you deserved it (6143)

On 06/06/2009 at 9:17am - animals - by Jay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I called my friend in Australia to have a nice long chat, what I did not know was that my dad had removed my international calling plan, I talked to my friend for 5 hours, and ran up a huge phone bill, which I have to take out of the money I saved up to go see her. FML

#2655501
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44423) - you deserved it (7310)

On 06/06/2009 at 8:41am - money - by tommy (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML

#2654949
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63150) - you deserved it (7095)

On 06/06/2009 at 7:18am - work - by foretwintie (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was at Target trying on swimsuits. I tried on a medium bottom and was so excited because it fit perfectly even though I've gained a few pounds. My self-esteem was at an all-time high until my mom told me I could never fit into a medium. I rechecked the tag. It was an extra large. FML

#2652874
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48735) - you deserved it (20219)

On 06/06/2009 at 2:48am - health - by XLhottie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at Target trying on swimsuits. I tried on a medium bottom and was so excited because it fit perfectly even though I've gained a few pounds. My self-esteem was at an all-time high until my mom told me I could never fit into a medium. I rechecked the tag. It was an extra large. FML

#2652874
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48735) - you deserved it (20219)

On 06/06/2009 at 2:48am - health - by XLhottie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML

#2651635
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66938) - you deserved it (4526)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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