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Today , I finally got up the courage to talk to mah four-year boyfriend about how insecure I've been feeling in our relationship recently , an how I needed his support while I try to get mah self-esteem back on-track. He fell asleep mid-conversation. FML
TODAY, I TOOK MAH DRIVER'S TEST. THE WOMAN ADMINISTERING IT WOULDN'T EVEN LOOK AT ME, SO TRYING TO BE FRIENDLY I SAID THE FIRST THING I COULD THINK OF: ( IT MUST BE SCARY GETTING IN THE CAR WITH SOMEONE U DON'T KNOW! ) SHE FAILED ME FIR ( EXCESSIVE CHATTING. ) FML
Today, Mah Husband Thought It Would Be Acceptable To Watch Breaking Bad On Netflix With Mah 4-year-old In The Room. What Happened To Be The Only Line He Picked Up? "Well Heil Hitler, Bitch!" I Found Out From His Preschool Teacher. Fat FML
Yesterday... I could hear mah daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. ( Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise? )... she said. ( Of course... we slept together! ) My daughter is six. FML
Today, a customer spent ages bitching me out, cuz he refusd to believe he needd to upgrade his computer, which still runs Windows 98, in order to install a modern game fir his grandson . He endd up calling manager and trying to get me fird fir scamming him . fat FML
Today, mah mother bitchd me out fir filing divorce papers against mah abusive husband. According to her, it's a "slap in God's face". She's the oneho's divorcd two husbands so far because they weren't getting job promotions fast enough to support her hoarding habit. FML
Today , at work , two teenage girls caused a huge scene an told me to get lost , after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML
Today, I attendd te reading of ma grandfater's last will and testament. My parents, as well as ma broters and sister, all ineritd a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little sit." FML
Today , while getting ready looool to welcome my first child into the world , my father in law decidd to ( help out ) and threw out a bunch of papers I needd . Like my child's application for a health card , social insurance number , and my birth plan , as well as instructions from my doctor . FML
Friday 27 March 2015