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Harry641

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Harry641

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  • Number of visits : 2471
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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Harry641's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (251241) - you deserved it (59718)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

#70124
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26689) - you deserved it (53192)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by swtkiss1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

#32415
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82560) - you deserved it (10924)

On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I received a text message from my older brother. It said, "Ah... I want you". I hope to god it was intended for someone else. FML

#3715
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25328) - you deserved it (1661)

On 01/30/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by Ren - United States (Illinois)

Today, my roomate took the toilet paper out of my bathroom. I went into his room to look for it, only to find a large wad of it balled up near his laptop and mouse. FML

#3161
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18376) - you deserved it (1723)

On 01/28/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by flying solo - United States (California)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15481) - you deserved it (67669)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58528) - you deserved it (7765)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, in the forest, I hit my foot against a half-buried metal thing. I dug into the ground, and found a beautiful box, heavy enough to not be empty. I imagined myself with gold coins. Inside was the corpse of a cat. FML

#1817
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24656) - you deserved it (5638)

On 01/20/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by mainche - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML

#723
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10696) - you deserved it (72675)

On 01/07/2009 at 3:16am - intimacy - by sexaddict - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went into a shop, not really completely awake. To get to the upper floor, I took the escalator... in the wrong direction. After about 30 seconds (which seemed like hours) trying to climb up the wrong way, my brain started working and by that time I already had a few amused spectators watching me. FML

#722
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14590) - you deserved it (7910)

On 01/07/2009 at 12:53am - misc - by maaaryy - Sent from mobile version

Today, my flatmate was listening to opera on full volume all afternoon and now he's playing James Bond on the trumpet. FML

#621
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18291) - you deserved it (2645)

On 12/29/2008 at 1:09am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

#552
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50958) - you deserved it (6189)

On 12/19/2008 at 11:05am - intimacy - by chicochico - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I was taking my three year old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML

#142
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58385) - you deserved it (3391)

On 10/29/2008 at 7:57am - kids - by LifeSucks - Canada (Quebec)



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