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Harry641's FML badges
One ring to rule them all
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Harry641's favorite FMLs
by Picaresque / 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by swtkiss1 / 02/18/2009 at 5:26pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
by janedoe / 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by Ren / 01/30/2009 at 10:50am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by flying solo / 01/28/2009 at 5:35pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML
by Boredom / 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm / United States / Intimacy
by TheEnglishOne / 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, in the forest, I hit my foot against a half-buried metal thing. I dug into the ground, and found a beautiful box, heavy enough to not be empty. I imagined myself with gold coins. Inside was the corpse of a cat. FML
Today, I went into a shop, not really completely awake. To get to the upper floor, I took the escalator... in the wrong direction. After about 30 seconds (which seemed like hours) trying to climb up the wrong way, my brain started working and by that time I already had a few amused spectators watching me. FML
by maaaryy / 01/07/2009 at 12:53am / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was taking my three year old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
by LifeSucks / 10/29/2008 at 7:57am / Canada (Quebec) / Kids
- Today, I had a bout of explosive diarrhea in the midst of a car wash. I couldn't get out in time.… Today, I received an aggressive voicemail from a date asking why I was late. We were due to meet at… Today, I realized the only reason I have a job is because I'm seeing my bosses daughter but she's a…