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HanselSuHan's favorite FMLs
Today, my 17 year old daughter told me she was going to bake a cake. When she finished she offered me one and it was crunchy. I asked her why and she said the recipe said to put eggs in. She put them in whole. FML
by anonymous / 03/06/2016 at 12:33am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by man-period? / 03/02/2016 at 1:48am / United States (Oregon) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/15/2016 at 7:01pm / United States / Health
Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML
by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Electro / 02/11/2016 at 4:51pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy
by Katie1921 / 02/08/2016 at 9:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by OhDearGodGrandad / 02/07/2016 at 12:59pm / United Kingdom (Redbridge) / Intimacy
Today, I worked up the confidence to go to the mall alone for the first time since being confined to a wheelchair. It didn't even take 20 minutes before some teenager grabbed my wheelchair and tried to race me around, all while his friends watched and laughed. FML
by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 3:08pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health
by Spooderman / 02/03/2016 at 9:04pm / United States / Kids
Today, I woke up from an amazing dream I was having about my girlfriend. We were laughing and holding hands, the kind of dream I wanted to stay asleep for. When I finally got up, I was excited to tell her about the dream but then I remembered. We broke up a week ago. FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2016 at 5:30pm / United States / Love
Today, I showed my husband a recipe for the meal I wanted us to make tonight. He saw cumin was an ingredient and broke into hysterics. By the time he managed to stop laughing, he gasped that he couldn't eat something "with cumin it" and broke down laughing again. FML
Today, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up behind my dad and yell "BOO!" to scare him. He didn't even flinch. All he did was calmly look over his shoulder and sigh, "Oh for fuck's sake. And you wonder why I don't love you." FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 3:29am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
by aswamk / 12/19/2015 at 12:01am / Pakistan (Sindh) / Health
by NYM88 / 12/17/2015 at 1:34pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Work
by anon / 12/16/2015 at 10:28am / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…