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HannahRitchey's favorite FMLs
by cremyfrozentreat / 03/10/2013 at 9:40am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML
by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy
Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML
by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML
by soaked / 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mum came to my ballet class. She spent the whole lesson sitting at the back yelling at me to "stop sticking your butt out". My ballet instructor had to ask her several times to pipe down. FML
by embarassinggg / 02/06/2013 at 1:57pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous
by tingles / 01/19/2013 at 8:20am / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Intimacy
by I'm screwed / 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
by williebees / 11/28/2012 at 12:43pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by whattabrat / 02/26/2012 at 12:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, working as a life guard, I walked through the changing room to go back to the pool. On the way, a naked old man started up a conversation with me. We talked for 10 minutes about pool chemicals, while his penis wobbled around with every small movement. This happens all the time. FML
by Dr.Octopus454 / 10/07/2011 at 10:58am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Work
Today, while driving into work, a guy cut me off and I yelled some nasty things out of my window at him. He heard me, followed me to work, took a baseball bat out and then chased me into the office. He also smashed my windshield on his way out. FML
by erineilis / 08/16/2011 at 10:22am / United States (New York) / Transportation
by 8sq / 06/10/2011 at 9:32pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health
by Rachel / 06/10/2011 at 5:57am / United States (Alabama) / Kids
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 11:44am / Switzerland / Health
- Today, my boyfriend of 6 months said he wasn't going to break up with me, he was just going to stop… Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's… Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off,…
- Today, I woke up to my boyfriend coughing loudly. As I started to rub his back and sit up he flung… Today, I spent half an hour looking and riding this bike I liked. Finally a sales associate came up… Today, my small dog walked up to me with a guilty face. I immediately shouted that she was a pooper…