HamsteronA

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HamsteronA

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4812
  • Number of comments : 232
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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HamsteronA's page activity

Visits<b>starchyflops</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 6:28am<b>Celeden</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 10:26am<b>twerking_riggs</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 4:09pm<b>Etaisten</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 6:47pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 4:51pm<b>16bees</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 12:59am<b>khloelpcn</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 7:37pm<b>accidentalsheep</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 9:37pm<b>mushroomcassette</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 6:47pm<b>qwerty401</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 6:34pm<b>DuncanHills</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 3:22am<b>McDerpface</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 2:14am<b>5secondsofvvifi</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 8:58pm<b>mip_92</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 11:42pm<b>azelk</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 7:13pm<b>anormalperson</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:41am<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 3:09am<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 8:40pm

Fucked!<b>16bees</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 6:59am

HamsteronA's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

HamsteronA's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

by driver / 01/06/2010 at 9:55am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

by sickofsick / 12/29/2009 at 10:11pm / United States / Health

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2009 at 7:08am / United States (Washington) / Holidays

Today, I was messing around with my boyfriend, trying to get him to tell me he loved me more than KISS, his favorite band. He couldn't do it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML

by rtrim29 / 12/26/2009 at 11:18am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I was changing the oil on my car. I decided to pretend I was delivering a baby as I was removing the oil filter. I got really into it and was screaming things like "I see the head," and when I removed it, I said "Oh, it's a boy!" As I reach for my rag to clean it, I saw my neighbor's boots. FML

by nwalsh2009 / 12/17/2009 at 11:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

by Silent / 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2009 at 2:27am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I stood in line for one hour to get a new phone. It then took me 2 minutes to drop it and shatter the screen, and 2 seconds for the employee to look at, laugh, and tell me, "That Sucks." FML

by bananaface / 11/16/2009 at 2:29am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

by squidwardpotatoes / 11/14/2009 at 6:08am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was having an intimate moment with my detachable showerhead. I opened my eyes to find my husband of 4 months looking down on me. The only thing he said was, 'You too?' FML

by ShowerheadGirl / 11/09/2009 at 2:06am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I threw a paper ball into a recycling bin backwards. I don't know whats more sad: the fact that that was my highlight of my life, or I had been attempting to make that shot every day for 3 years. FML

by efmylife / 10/23/2009 at 12:47am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, my roomate thought it would be funny to take pictures of my morning wood and put it up on Facebook for everyone to see. FML

by Crappit / 10/06/2009 at 9:53am / United States (New York) / Intimacy