Haluski0218

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Haluski0218

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  • Number of visits : 357
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Haluski0218's FML badges

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Haluski0218's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML

by SFra / 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm / United States / Love

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

by RawrSparkle / 09/21/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

by -___- / 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Kids

Today, I stumbled across "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" on TV and realized that these awful freaks are going to make more money than I ever will. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2012 at 6:29pm / United States / Money

Today, my thirteen-year-old daughter tried to scratch the freckles off of her face. We ended up going to the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2012 at 12:47am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I had to explain to my teacher that Czechoslovakia is no longer a country. She kicked me out of class when she found out I was right. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2012 at 2:33pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm / United States / Health

Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML

by say my name / 06/30/2012 at 9:35pm / Intimacy

Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML

by rolyat / 05/01/2012 at 12:41pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML

by CierraJordan / 03/14/2012 at 7:31am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

by types / 03/02/2012 at 10:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML

by Kevin / 02/13/2012 at 1:00am / United States / Love

Today, my husband bleached his hair so, "our future kids will have blond hair too." I'm already married to this guy. FML

by dragonmirado / 01/25/2012 at 1:23am / China / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom was more upset about my 67 on an Algebra test than my sister almost setting the house on fire. FML

by xXMudkipNoobXx / 01/12/2012 at 8:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous