HaleiJ

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Offline (the 09/19/2014 at 5:13am)

HaleiJ

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 July 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 471
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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HaleiJ's page activity

Visits<b>Demonface54</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 3:26pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 2:59am<b>sugarbreeze</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 10:32am<b>botanistjessica</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 4:40pm<b>saamop</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 4:20pm<b>Zaros</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 2:55pm<b>aLiYaaH</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 7:01am<b>Hansi</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 10:10am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 6:04pm<b>oconneld</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 9:25am<b>kaiyybee</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 5:10pm<b>TheElBurrrito</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 10:27am<b>StinkyKitty63</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 9:22pm<b>rob02</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 8:21pm<b>SlapAndTickle</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 7:13pm<b>damianw97</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 1:54pm<b>lloyd123</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 10:41am<b>robertd73</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 9:14am

HaleiJ's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of HaleiJ's badges

HaleiJ's favorite FMLs

Today, my escape artist of a dog got out. She not only chased someone else's cat into someone else's house, but promptly defecated all over their living room floor out of excitement. That's one way to meet the new neighbors. FML

by Cat vs. Dog / 04/28/2014 at 5:03pm / United States (Wyoming) / Animals

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

by In urgent need of a new roommate / 03/26/2014 at 7:44pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, I decided to clean my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

by Shiva / 03/18/2014 at 4:46am / France (Poitou-Charentes) / Animals

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

by LeChameauTrisomique / 03/14/2014 at 12:33am / France (Centre) / Work

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

by doodler / 02/27/2014 at 6:59am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I threw an eraser at my brother to get his attention because he couldn't hear me over his music. Being in a bad mood, he thought I was trying to aggravate his bad mood and responded by throwing a small desk cactus back. FML

by ThatGuyWithFMLs / 02/25/2014 at 4:31am / Japan (Osaka) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

by unloved cat owner / 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

by Can't Believe It. / 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I realized that my dog has more work experience than I do. He's a retired military working dog, and I have a Master's degree. FML

by Pooper scooper / 01/28/2014 at 3:22am / Guam / Animals

Today, I found my little brother breathing heavily and asked him what he was doing. He looked at me intensely and said "Breathing in all the oxygen so you can't have any and die." 5ML

by SirDirtyRedD / 01/24/2014 at 8:03pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 175-pound rottweiler I've raised since a puppy watched me get jumped and robbed of my phone and money in my yard. An hour later, he hopped the fence and chased the mail man down the street after he leaned on the fence for a second. FML

by Zach Got Robbed / 01/08/2014 at 6:02pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, I wrote a text to the guy I've had a crush on for two years. I typed "hey" and put my phone down, not ready to send it. A little while later, I heard it buzz. The reply said "Um... what?" Apparently my sister had added "I'm a shitty prostitute" to my text and sent it. FML

by ... / 01/04/2014 at 12:25am / United States / Love