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HaileyTheTurtle's favorite FMLs
by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Pontiacman92 / 08/29/2013 at 3:07am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML
by fsfs / 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML
by bet a woman would've been thanked / 05/07/2013 at 4:21pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Kids
Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML
by AussieG75 / 05/07/2013 at 10:18am / United States (Washington) / Animals
by my dumb bro / 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm / United States (Arkansas) / Kids
by milf / 08/05/2012 at 9:10pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids
Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML
by axwound / 12/27/2009 at 8:04am / United States (Florida) / Animals
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- Today, I asked my husband if he could at least try to give me an orgasm. His response? "Um... why?"… Today, I found out that my boyfriend likes to show his female co-workers his dick, by emailing them… Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer…