Hai_Its_Marisa

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Hai_Its_Marisa

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2359
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Hai_Its_Marisa : normal people scare me

Hai_Its_Marisa's page activity

Visits<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:15pm<b>Kamon97</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 10:14pm<b>madelief129</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 3:30am<b>jaysinlove</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 6:03pm<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 5:11am<b>_parth</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 9:32pm<b>Wrex</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 8:59pm<b>alllisonnn</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 8:58pm<b>blexzy</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 2:44pm<b>omfgorlaith</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 7:10am<b>123yeah</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 4:52pm<b>logan1423</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 11:24am<b>HeyTherexxx</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 3:20am<b>Shayaan</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 12:28am<b>97mailo</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 12:02am<b>I_Am_A_Rock</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 11:09pm<b>watdoisay</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:57pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 10:00am

Hai_Its_Marisa's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Hai_Its_Marisa's badges

Hai_Its_Marisa's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend. As we walked back home from the cinema, he was checking his phone, when suddenly someone grabbed it and ran off. I had to be the one to go run after the thug because my 23-year-old boyfriend froze on the spot, crying. FML

Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML

by not a dumbass pothead / 04/08/2014 at 6:04pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML

by fuck you with a bacon cock / 04/04/2014 at 6:07pm / United Kingdom (Moray) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

by dani / 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm / United States (Indiana) / Money

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

by Anonytard / 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

by rollergirl13 / 01/11/2014 at 12:55am / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, my boss found out that my girlfriend dumped me. He asked if that meant she would no longer bring her delicious homemade cookies to the office. When I said yes, he fired me on the spot. FML

by justin / 12/12/2013 at 10:08pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML

by [...] / 12/12/2013 at 9:28am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Kids

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2013 at 11:43am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

by jazopalchris / 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

by Cian_1 / 11/25/2013 at 6:22am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.