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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Hafel_Copter's favorite FMLs
by immature / 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Work
by ElementaryEdGuy / 09/11/2014 at 11:22pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML
by lolwut / 09/11/2014 at 2:33am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by Crash / 09/10/2014 at 4:15pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by mayoshampoo / 09/01/2014 at 12:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by gimmeafknbreak / 01/17/2014 at 6:59pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy
Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML
by Anonymous / 09/13/2013 at 1:06pm / Ireland (Donegal) / Kids
by Blizzards / 07/14/2013 at 1:29am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML
by Anonymous / 05/27/2013 at 6:15pm / United States (Utah) / Kids
Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work
by suckstobefat / 01/22/2012 at 1:10am / Canada (Alberta) / Health
by derbyboy / 10/19/2011 at 1:38am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Work
Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year old boy, and an 19 month old girl. I was chasing them around the house having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change the 3 year old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML
by Anonymous / 04/16/2011 at 7:42pm / United States (Arkansas) / Kids
Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML
by biscuit / 01/07/2011 at 12:46am / United Kingdom / Health
- Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…