About HaedLei : Just.. looking for a laugh I suppose.
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HaedLei's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/25/2012 at 4:19pm / Virgin Islands British / Miscellaneous
Today, I'll be sleeping in my car for umpteenth time this year, because my psychotic wife is again convinced that I'm sleeping with practically every woman in my state. I'm too broke to pay for a divorce, and too embarrassed to go to a friend's house. FML
by agony / 12/16/2011 at 10:29pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML
by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:16pm / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Miscellaneous
Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML
by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by maf811 / 11/07/2011 at 7:13am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by canucks_chick / 10/23/2011 at 1:45am / Canada / Intimacy
Today, I got into a pretty heated argument with my boss. On my way out the door I told him he would be lucky if I came back to work. Unfortunately, I left the interior light on in my truck and it drained the battery. I had to go back in and ask for a jump. FML
by bob / 10/22/2011 at 12:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, while jogging in the park, I saw a man acting strange and trying to talk to 3 little girls. I jogged over to their mother and warned her about a 'weirdo' lurking around her daughters. Turns out that 'weirdo' is the woman's disabled brother. FML
by cristina_laila / 10/15/2011 at 9:13pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by AL / 09/21/2011 at 1:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by RetroDayDreamer / 09/10/2011 at 11:46am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
by Anonymous / 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, thanks to my wife's confession, I found out that the 14 year old child I've raised since I was 16 isn't related to me at all. But at least this narrows the real father down to one of three other guys. FML
by candie / 08/26/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Michael tee / 08/11/2011 at 4:11pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm / United States / Kids
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, during a family dinner with my grandparents, I showed them some pictures. One was a picture… Today, my university fridge is so small that the cucumber I bought doesn’t fit either lengthwise or… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the…