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Hackaye

Offline (the 08/29/2014 at 4:40am) | Search for a member

Hackaye

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 137
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Hackaye's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter admitted why her grades, which are usually straight A's, have been slipping the past few weeks. Turns out she has been deliberately failing tests to avoid becoming valedictorian, so she won't have to deliver a speech at graduation. FML

#21148414
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49123) - you deserved it (6068)

On 05/22/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by stillaproudfather (man) - United States

Today, my brother tried to give my dog a walk by attaching an RC helicopter to the leash and following him while flying it. He broke the RC helicopter which cost 300 dollars, and we had to search for the dog for 3 hours. FML

#21147533
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40610) - you deserved it (8274)

On 05/21/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by Ace - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML

#21146270
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54149) - you deserved it (4800)

On 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm - misc - by Q - United States

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25329) - you deserved it (55625)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I made love. She stared at her One Direction poster the whole time. FML

#21046460
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52831) - you deserved it (11229)

On 01/31/2014 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by mylifesucks (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41468) - you deserved it (12511)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mom took a picture of me. All she could say about the picture was, "At least your sister is pretty." 5ML

#21038006
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39151) - you deserved it (3547)

On 01/24/2014 at 7:36am - love - by MH - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56700) - you deserved it (5697)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

#21008430
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40980) - you deserved it (9722)

On 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm - health - by beemove (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML

#21003528
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40127) - you deserved it (10505)

On 12/24/2013 at 11:53am - animals - by PityKitty (woman) -

Today, my wife and I were watching Killing Kennedy. Jokingly, I said, "Spoiler alert: he dies." She threw a book at me and won't talk to me. I think she's serious. FML

#20953867
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45640) - you deserved it (6989)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Thomas - United States (Virginia)

Today, after hours of organizing and spending around $300 for my three-year-old's birthday party, I realized I forgot to send out the invitations. FML

#20951338
159 comments

Today, the tickets I bought for my favorite band's concert arrived in the mail. The concert was last night. FML

#20935170
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46442) - you deserved it (4193)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:11am - misc - by MsConfusedd (woman) - United States

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

#20879220
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44540) - you deserved it (4911)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:55am - work - by ellen77 - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59350) - you deserved it (5428)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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