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HSSN19

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HSSN19
  • Town/Country : Smallville, Kansas
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 16 May 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 603
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HSSN19 : Apparently, I'm a cynical-yet-compassionate robot.

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HSSN19's favorite FMLs

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

#19651204
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18322) - you deserved it (7525)

On 05/20/2012 at 11:03am - health - by jcdc - United States (Texas)

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24331) - you deserved it (2760)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML

#19602686
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14300) - you deserved it (3334)

On 05/10/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by tinydancer (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML

#19589899
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18831) - you deserved it (5627)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26538) - you deserved it (20627)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom scolded me for not taking driving lessons already. This comes a few days after she told me that, "Allowing teenagers to drive is just another way of thinning out the gene pool". FML

#17232023
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22886) - you deserved it (2634)

On 07/23/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by Norah (woman) - United States

Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML

#17022194
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31991) - you deserved it (2858)

On 07/08/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by chumleevil - United States (Maine)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML

#16896925
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28858) - you deserved it (4679)

On 06/28/2011 at 12:10pm - misc - by Qwerty - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

#16474774
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30778) - you deserved it (2132)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:44pm - work - by corn - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

#16448858
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13234) - you deserved it (20298)

On 06/01/2011 at 8:35am - intimacy - by Username - Canada

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

#12612003
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28318) - you deserved it (7784)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by XxMe123xx - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13373) - you deserved it (52182)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. I was telling my friends a story when my mom started talking. I simply said 'Mom...' so she'd realize she interrupted me. She gave me the finger and called me rude in front of all my friends. FML

#11923492
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29252) - you deserved it (5481)

On 07/16/2010 at 3:38pm - misc - by apple (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML

#8416746
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25107) - you deserved it (2203)

On 02/18/2010 at 7:44pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

#8051668
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32701) - you deserved it (4284)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm - kids - by justme - Sent from mobile version



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